The true story of the chinese giant

John has been imploring me to tell the story of the night I almost blacked out on his toilet. I don't know that there's too much to explore here, but I'll give it to you.

A couple of weeks ago I was hanging out one night at John's place. A natural urge came upon me so I went to the bathroom. Something was wrong though. As I sat there, allowing the natural course of events to occur, I suffered from what felt like an intense head rush. My vision narrowed down and I began to lose feeling in my body. I thought perhaps it was normal, but no! I could only see a small patch of wallpaper with my tunnel vision, but I knew this was no ordinary bm. I had to stop it or it might kill me. So I grabbed the rim and tried to slow the process down, but I felt like a truck was driving through me. I realized that strategy wouldn't work, so I accelerated the process. The effort it cost me was immense, and I was shaking and sweating. I only survived because I went empty before I totally blacked out. Still, at the end I was shaken by a violent convulsion and I fell back against the tank of the toilet, sending a candle holder to meet its doom on the floor. For a few moments, I had to sit there just resting. That was the most effort I've ever had to put into an evacuation.

I still don't know why I had that one particularly bad episode, but all I can say is I hope it never happens again.