Confused Cops Swarm Woman After Birth

WTF??

http://apnews.myway.com/article/20050331/D895U2VO1.html

And let her on her way instead of driving her to the hospital...

I hate to steal from Something Awful

but I feel everyone needs to see this!

http://www.somethingawful.com/articles.php?a=2768

WHAT THE HELL IS IT???

My friend took a picture of this... thing Perhaps it is two insects over each other or something?? That or there are now flying spider queens!

The Spiral of Civilization

Oh boy...


Seems to me whenever you combine simple geometric shapes(triangles, spirals, circles) with complicated theories on the development of civilization, the universe, evolution, etc...you get websites like this. Do not be fooled by the fact that, at first glance, this guy's website actually looks halfway decently put together; the use of bright colors for some of the text, as well as the beauty of an image above, is a clue to the creator's possible insanity/delusion. Nonetheless you may be pleased to learn that by this gentleman's calculations, we're only 15 years away from something called the "autonomy age" and only 55 years away from "tech singularity", whatever that means(I'm not reading this whole website to figure it out.)

Another one, though kinda hard to read

Saw this in a friend's AIM profile:

http://douglas.min.net/essay/newessay.jpg

"Walt Whitman believed that the only good Chinaman was a dead Chinaman, so he went to Tiananmen Square and gave them all candy. Except instead of candy, he killed them."

...in the back of a Denver Denny's

Don't start this until you have some time to kill, because every inch is pure comedy gold.

Planes, Trains and Plantains

Dolphins and Domes of Light?

Whilst googling for a sufficiently large boat with which to commit an act of piracy(Nat-Wu can explain)I ran across this link. Apparantly, in some parts of the ocean there can be found domes of light floating under the sea. If you swim in these domes, you are cut off from all outside sound and experience. I suspect that the author of this website has perhaps risen to the surface too fast a few too many times, and may shortly be seeing white domes of light wherever he goes. The fact that he's posting this on "etfriends.com" belies his credibility, but I suppose anything's possible in the great deep, as the movie "The Abyss" has shown us. Anyway it's short and amusing...check it out.

http://www.etfriends.com/Plasma.html

Dear Dirk...

I know some of you guys read gordonkeith.com too, but this one is too good not to post a link to on the horadrim.

Dear Dirk

Oh my...

Guys, I think you all know I'm a Punisher fan. I just searched on Google images for "punisher" and of course got mostly relevant hits. Unfortunately, there were some irrelevant hits as well. If you do this search (just the word "punisher"), you'll see what I mean. This one particular picture came up on the very first page of images. It's most of the way down. You really can't miss it.

http://images.google.com/images?q=punisher&hl=en

Move Zig, for Great Justice

http://www.allyourbasearebelongtous.com/flash/

Ah, an old classic.

Comics Were Never Better

Only one of the hilarities you find by clicking below!

This week's Photoshop Phriday over at Something Awful is hilariously altered covers of old comics, which were probably funny enough on their won before they were ever altered. As I consider Something Awful my personal muse whenever I post here at Horadrim, I thought I'd share the absurdity with you all. Enjoy by clicking here!

And the Survey Says.....

What Is The Sex Of Your Brain?

Some researchers say that men can have 'women's brains' and that women can think more like men. Take this test from the BBC to find out the sex of your brain. I haven't done it yet as the test takes 30 minutes, although you can fill in some of the test and return at a later time to complete the rest.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/science/humanbody/sex/add_user.shtml

It's over. They got him.

Dave Matthews Band Driver Pleads Guilty

By TARA BURGHART, Associated Press Writer
CHICAGO - A bus driver for the Dave Matthews Band pleaded guilty Wednesday to charges stemming from the dumping of 800 pounds of human waste from his vehicle's septic tank onto a sightseeing boat on the Chicago River.

Stefan Wohl was sentenced to 18 months probation and 150 hours of community service, said Tom Stanton, a spokesman for the Cook County state's attorney's office. He also was fined the maximum of $10,000, which will be paid to Friends of the Chicago River, a conservation group
Wohl, 42, of Selma, Texas, was charged with reckless conduct and discharging contaminates to cause water pollution.
Authorities said that on Aug. 8, when Wohl was alone in a bus used by band violinist Boyd Tinsley, he emptied the septic tank while driving across the open grating deck of the Kinzie Street bridge.
The waste poured onto the open deck of the Chicago's Little Lady tour boat, which was passing below with more than 100 passengers. The boat immediately returned to its dock and was disinfected. The Chicago Architectural Foundation, which operates the tour, offered refunds to the passengers.
Prosecutors said Wohl had denied discharging waste on the bridge, but surveillance tapes from buildings in the area were used to zero in on the bus.
The band cooperated in the investigation, including bringing the bus, one of a number used by the band, back to the city for inspection, authorities said.
The band has since donated $50,000 to the Friends of the Chicago River and $50,000 to the Chicago Park District.
A lawsuit filed by Illinois Attorney General Lisa Madigan against the band and Wohl is pending. It seeks $70,000 in damages.

I'm tired of apes!

I just don't want apes to be at the top of the page any more. Let's talk about...well, something else.

So, uh, my favorite cheese is cheddar. How about you guys?

free song downloads

From i site i use:


Free song download with every Pepsi purchase:

This deal expires April 11. This promotion ran last year, and is running again in the same way. First off, please "do not shoot the messenger". This deal may not feel right for some people, especially store owners and the Pepsi Company, but we are not explaining anything here that is new or secret information. If a company puts out a promotion that makes it simple for anyone to beat the odds, especially when it was well known that the same exact thing occured last year, then they may actually be inviting people to beat the odds. Don't blame us for relaying information that is already common knowledge on the streets. If you didn't hear it from us first, you would have from one of your friends.

You may have seen the ads on TV where 1 in 3 Pepsi bottles win a free music song download. That means if you purchase a 1-liter or a 20oz Pepsi bottle, the bottom of the cap will either say "Please Play Again" or it will have a code that can be redeemed at Apple.com for one iTunes song download. The labels must be marked with the iTunes promotion, and must be a 20oz or 1-liter bottle of Pepsi, Diet Pepsi, Pepsi Wild Cherry, Mountain Dew, Diet Mountain Dew, Mountain Dew Code Red, or Sierra Mist. 33% odds of winning (1 in 3) is pretty good odds, but there's a simple way to get 100% success in finding which bottles of Pepsi are winners.

You can simply tilt the bottle on its side see part of the bottom side of the cap before you purchase the bottle. If you see the words "FREE SONG" or just "SONG" then the bottle is a winner. If you can see the word "AGAIN" then it is not a winner, as explained in a CNN article last year, or look at a great article on MacMerc.com written last year. MacMerc also wrote a good article this year.

Last year, some stores reported that people were stealing the winning bottle caps without paying for the soda. Some people reportedly took off the caps, wrote down the codes, and replaced the caps on the soda bottles without paying for it, which spoiles the beverage and stiffs the store owner. Doing things like this is no different than shoplifting, and people who are caught taking caps off of bottles without paying for them could (and should) be arrested. A few dollars worth of downloadable music is not worth having a criminal record. This year, store owners are aware that people may be doing this and they will be watching for it. But there is nothing illegal with tilting the bottle to the side, and visually inspecting the under-part of the bottle cap before buying, to have a better chance of picking a winner.

Apes really do go apeshit

Vicious chimpanzee attack prompts investigation
Associated Press

HAVILAH, Calif. — Investigators said today they are trying to figure out how two chimpanzees that viciously attacked a visitor at an animal sanctuary escaped from their cages.

The chimps chewed off St. James Davis' nose and severely mauled his genitals and limbs Thursday before the son-in-law of the sanctuary's owner shot the animals to death, authorities said.

Davis, 62, and his wife had gone to there to visit another chimpanzee that had lived with them for decades before they were forced to give the animal up. LaDonna Davis, 64, was bit in the hand.

"A big part of the investigation will be figuring out whether the (sanctuary) owners were in compliance with regulations," sheriff's Cmdr. Hal Chealander said. "There's a reason why those chimpanzees got out. It will be crucial to our investigation how they got out."

Health authorities were testing the dead chimps for rabies and other diseases.

The Davises were at Animal Haven Ranch, in a canyon 30 miles east of Bakersfield, to celebrate the birthday of Moe, a 39-year-old chimpanzee who was taken from their suburban Los Angeles home in 1999 after biting off part of a woman's finger.

The couple had brought Moe a cake and were standing outside his cage when Buddy and Ollie, two of the four chimpanzees in the adjoining cage, attacked St. James Davis, said Steve Martarano, a spokesman for the state Department of Fish and Game. Moe was not involved in the attack.

Dr. Maureen Martin of Kern Medical Center told KGET-TV of Bakersfield that the monkeys chewed most of Davis' face off and that he would require extensive surgery in an attempt to reattach his nose. Chealander told The Bakersfield Californian that the chimps also tore off Davis' testicles and foot.

Davis was taken to Loma Linda University Medical Center, where he underwent surgery. The hospital would not release any information on his condition.

Animal Haven Ranch has held state permits to shelter animals since 1985 and serves as a sanctuary for animals that have been confiscated or lost, Martarano said.

The permits are held by Ralph and Virginia Brauer. A woman who answered the phone at the Brauer home today said the family had no comment.

The Davises had waged an unsuccessful legal fight to bring Moe back to their West Covina home and visited him regularly at the sanctuary, where he had been living since October.

In 2000, after city prosecutors decided to drop charges against the Davises in Moe's 1999 attack, St. James Davis said Moe was not a threat to the public and attacked only when provoked.

"Animals bite, people bite, Mike Tyson bites. So what?" he said.