Cheese -vs- Beans
Beans give you gas, as everyone here i'm sure knows, and Cheese (know to cause constipation) plugs you up.
After two burritos I don't know if am going to fart or explode.
Why do they even make a Bean & Cheese Burrito?
posted by cbiggie at 1:44 PM
34 Comments:
Man, that's asking for it. Everybody knows you have to get some meat on it too to slow the process down long enough for your bowels to handle it! Jeez.
1:59 PM
what's the most B & C burritos you have ever had at once?
2:12 PM
for your burrito fortune, and to learn more about yourself based on your burrito likes and dislikes....check here:
http://www.klorg.com/humor/burrito.html
2:15 PM
2...from taco bell. I can't eat like that anymore; a decade or more of eating that crap has ruined me.
2:20 PM
I have had three from Taco Cabana, and you know those are each about three times the size of your average b&c from Taco Bell. Of course, that was back in the days when my room was an open-air garage. I'm sure I would have caused my own asphyxiation otherwise.
6:08 PM
Huh. Well, that's not quite how it went for me(I just got tired of sitting on the toilet for 20 minutes after every Taco Bell meal)but hey, thanks for sharing that highly detailed and troubling story.
Should there be a BB Anonymous association?
8:49 AM
i must confess, it has been a while since i consumed a large amount of b & c Burritos. So i guess i really have no room to make any comments about what they do as a result of eating them. I have faint memories of days past....but nothing current to base my opinions on. I have decided that since i have no current first hand experiences to base my postings on...i must do something about it. On tuesday nights i normally chose to eat alone. (as sad as it sounds, it's 1000000 better than eating with meredith). Anyways....i plan on spending that hour sitting in a booth at the Taco Cabana across the street consuming these things until i either can't take it anymore, or until i run out of money. As luck has it, John will be here that night to witness any side effects...or at least hear or smell them. I will write back after the testing to report all findings. Does any one have any advice or words of wisdom for me?
6:08 PM
Don't forget the sour cream. That helps it slide around in there.
5:07 AM
ok, so far i know to add a few key ingrediants. Thanks for the input. What medications should i bring to work that night? I know it won't be pretty.
1:26 PM
like any great athlete, i find it best to train for such events as this. Today i shall consume 3 burritos in preperation for the big day. Wish me luck!!
10:04 AM
It's unlikely we'll see cbiggie blogging anytime in the next couple of days. He'll be "clogging" instead.
12:01 PM
that ain't funny man. It's only been 26 minutes since lunch. There's been only 1 trip to the office so far, but i have raided Kathy's desk in search of some serious antacids...not that even those will help that much. Because of a wreck that causeed a slight traffic back-up, i opted for Taco Bell today where i found it to be cheaper in the long run to get the Grande Meal or whatever it's called....where you get a combo of taco's and burritos that add up to 10. I chose all burritos, but only had 4 today. Didn't want to overdo it. The lady at the drive through did ask me about 4 times if i was sure i wanted all burritos. Do you think Taco Bell knows what those things are capable of,yet they still sell them? As a side note, there's been a rather large amount of "grumbling" going on down south. Now i don't feel any shiftings of the insides as of yet, but from the sound of things i could be making a mad dash for the closet restroom at any time.
12:29 PM
CHRIS! I have to work tonight!
12:42 PM
Alright Chris, just to get back at you I will also consume a dangerous amount of burritos before I come to work tonight.
The staff restroom may actually be worse off than the public one tonight...oddly enough.
1:34 PM
while there have been many days where i have felt much much better after eating lunch, i feel i must now dig deep into my inner self (i know that will get a few comments alone) and pull out the energy needed to go up against John's challenge. What he is not figuring into this equation is that i still have 6 burritos left in my truck....keeping them nice and warm in the sun. If eaten all at once, i'm sure i can create quite a mess in the staff restroom. But this is perhaps the best part....i leave tonight at 6:00. That's right. I can eat now and make it into the "office" at approx. 5:00, just as John is arriving to work. By the time i'm done (i plan on reading the Sports Page while taking care of business) it should be just about time for me to leave for the night. This means that by the time John's body starts reacting to what he eats, i'll be long gone and he'll be forced to enter the restroom i had previously entered and destroyed. Tonight in an attempt to flush John out of the Staff restroom...i shall show no mercy on the staff toilet. Game on.
1:49 PM
I just consumed a burrito
2:51 PM
I think I must vote this as the most successful post in Horadrim history, if not in terms of number of comments then at least in terms of the number of times I've been grossed out in reading it.
4:04 PM
I think the posting record is slightly above 30, so this still has a ways to go. But this is definitely a good one.
4:30 PM
#26
Shaper?
6:33 PM
#27
That sounds like an X-files mutant.
6:33 PM
David had some serious shaper after Thanksgiving and his many Thanksgiving deuces...
10:23 PM
By the way, after the burrito that I ate, I only had minor fecal displacement (or defecation) in the staff restroom. It did smell but nothing like what Chris is planning for Tuesday.
10:24 PM
And, Chris, I think your original theory was right. I was slightly constipated, yet I had plenty of bowel churning and then I had eventual relief.
10:26 PM
in an odd and unexpected turn of events, i wasn't able to crap at all while here at work. It wasn't that i didn't need to, it was that i couldn't. I once attempted to make it to the staff restroom only to find that while still about 15 steps away the smell of the previous user was so strong and disgusting that i couldn't hardly stand up....let alone make it into the restroom. After a quick investigation i found the culprit. It was Kathy. I hadn't planned on this ... but she just might be the one person who can do more damage in this whole thing than John and I combined.....and she doesn't need any burrito help to do it. I'll need to plan my craps a bit more carefully come Tuesday.
9:35 AM
I would have snuck over to Hanasho and defiled their bathroom. Although you might have to listen to the toilet tell you to eat better.
10:23 AM
out of all the bloging going on.... who would have thought a bean and cheese burrito would be this popular....or poopular? It will be a sad day when this blog post goes away. On the other hand....when the side effects of yesterday's burritos go away there will be much rejoicing!
3:31 PM
Yeah, this from the guy who sent me a text earlier and said he had three more. Were those the same Burritos from Tuesday??
10:14 PM
I think this post has certainly taken the record for comments.
I do wonder, though, what Chris is planning for the future.
I wonder if Jenny knows about his plan...
9:40 AM
Ok, I went through and checked our highest post comment stats. Here is how they fall:
38+ - Bean & Cheese Burritos
29 - "Freedom Stands Tall"
25 - Shrek's Mom
23 - Goatse Cloud
20 - Adam's post about masturbating
18 - "Impatient Ape" / "Halo 2 Party"
9:51 AM
Come on, guys, someone post a 40th comment. Come on!
9:52 AM
Shrek's mom got 20 posts?? How can that pic be 25/29ths as important as politics?
1:03 PM
I bet Shrek's Mom would have gotten more comments if she had been cuc'ing herself.
And I bet the politics would have been more thoroughly discussed if it had been over the morality or legality of cucerbation.
2:04 PM
Ha ha! Then someone will be experimenting on Chris' bowels in prison!! LOL
11:06 AM
oh no...my son needs no help in the pooping department. There's too much already. He's not about to get any help from these deadly things.
And if i were to go prison....i'd make sure to bring my lawyer down with me. See ya there Alex!!!
1:49 PM
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