Happy Halloween!

Don't look down...oh, too late.

The only literal case of "blue balls" I've ever seen.

Ha ha ha!

Anyway...seeing as how Halloween is only about a week away, I think we should celebrate here by posting pictures of people in ridiculous costumes. It's not that much work, and it's fun for everyone. Here's my contribution.

Those crazy sport fans!

Man requests longer prison sentence to match Bird's jersey number
October 20, 2005
OKLAHOMA CITY (AP) -- A man got a prison term longer than prosecutors and defense attorneys had agreed to -- all because of Larry Bird.

The lawyers reached a plea agreement Tuesday for a 30-year term for a man accused of shooting with an intent to kill and robbery. But Eric James Torpy wanted his prison term to match Bird's jersey number 33.

``He said if he was going to go down, he was going to go down in Larry Bird's jersey,'' Oklahoma County District Judge Ray Elliott said Wednesday. ``We accommodated his request and he was just as happy as he could be.

``I've never seen anything like this in 26 years in the courthouse. But, I know the DA is happy about it.''

What, they don't have enough babies already?

Chinese Police Probe Online Baby Auction

SHANGHAI, China - Shanghai police are investigating an online ad offering babies for sale on the Chinese subsidiary of auction Web site eBay, the company said Thursday.

Ah, China. You have to love a place where you can get babies on Ebay and powders made from Unicorn penises at the corner drugstore.

Steak theft?

Guys, you know I'm a meat lover, and I know some of you are too. But would any of you ever steal the steak right off someone else's grill?

Link to story
Meet Lindsey Blackledge. The 19-year-old California gal was arrested in July 2002 for possession of a stolen, 14-ounce tri-tip steak. According to the Calaveras County sheriff, the beef was swiped from the outdoor grill of Katherine King, a 38-year-old San Andreas woman who called cops after discovering her meat was missing. When police arrived at the crime scene, they discovered a trail of "meat juice" leading from King's grill to an upstairs apartment. Inside the apartment, investigators followed the meat drippings to a bathroom, where they found the purloined sirloin hidden in a cabinet below the sink. Blackledge--who was found in the apartment--was charged with a felony.

What kind of world do we live in where you can't even leave your steak to sizzle on the grill for a while without having to worry about some steak-snatcher poaching it?

No!!!

God**mit

Thanks to the phenomenon of internet "art", some jackass has forever managed to ruin fairies for me. I really liked fairies. Thanks jackass.

Oh, if you want to see more of this guy's fat-inspired crap, go here. This guy's name is Jedediah, which goes a long way towards explaining his nonsense in my opinion.

Here it is: A New America?

Imagine the American governmental system for a moment; a national democracy divided into fifty states. The federal system makes fairly clear sense, one governmental body (divided up, yes, but still functioning as a whole) for one nation. Looking a bit closer, however, there are fifty smaller governed zones each independent of the other. It is not as if these smaller zones simply represent or divide up the onerous tasks of the one larger government, each of these zones can enact laws exclusive to itself (within limits). The strange part, in my opinion, comes in the nature of these boundaries. For the modern-day citizen these borders are absolutely arbitrary. Certainly they had historical significance, but in reality what purpose do they serve today? They are of no uniform size, they do not divide up the population evenly, they are not spread across the nation evenly, neither do they divide people up on any basis other than their physical address. Perhaps in the past this was effective, before the industrial revolution especially, but people today travel great distances, often crossing state boundaries, on a daily if not even more frequent basis. This is especially true online, where these boundaries entirely disappear. (I should state that my argument is not based on the internet, it is only corroborating evidence). When all is said and done, the boundaries are essentially meaningless.

What if we had a new system of boundaries, not based on physical location, but based rather on ideas, principles, or some other non-geographical factor. I speak mainly in reference to boundaries as they affect democractic representation. There are some very good reasons for geographical divisions, such as a tax base for building roads and such. But, getting back to the point, geography no longer says anything about a person's ideals or interests. Perhaps long ago a community consisted not only of one geographical location, but also a group of like-minded people. I don't think I need to offer evidence that this is no longer the case.

So, as I said, why should geography play any part in how a person is represented to, or by, their government? Why should my representative in the federal goverment represent me solely by where my physical address is located? What does Texas say about me, whether wrong or right? It is true that the representatives are elected by the people of the state, but as we already know, the majority rules. Therefore, only one party (in a two party system) really has the power when choosing an official. It is also true that elections are staggered, and the overall body of officials rarely represents only one political party. But again, this is decided by geography.

How could the system be restructured to allow for ideological "zones"? I don't know, that's sort of what I wanted feedback on. I have some ideas but they all have noticeable flaws. I'm working on refining an idea that I will present as a comment later. So, if you guys even care, what do you think about this?

Man vs. Outhouse

Given the type of low-lifes we are here at The Horadrim, I'm pretty sure all of us are familiar with the "Darwin Awards", given semi-annually to those members of the human species who attempt, and are usually succesful, at removing themselve from the gene pool. When I read this story I thought of several members of our happy little blog who've commented on their bathroom issues before. I trust I don't need to name them right?* Anyway:

(13 July 2004, West Virginia) An unidentified man in Blacksville, while relaxing in a portable outhouse, decided that it would be even more relaxing to light up a cigarette, inadvertently demonstrating another reason to give up the life-shortening habit. According to a spokeswoman for the ambulance, the methane in the porta-potty “didn't take too kindly” to the lit cigarette and exploded in a fireball. The man, whose identity was withheld “due to privacy policies,” was able to drive himself to the Clay-Battelle Health Center on the Mason-Dixon Highway. At that point, an ambulance was called in to transfer this difficult case to Ruby Memorial Hospital. The man's life was not in danger, but health care workers declined to reveal whether the man's injuries were serious enough to remove his contribution to the gene pool.

I would pay good money for video of that.










*Specifically, Nat-Wu, C-biggie, and Seamus

More Fun with the Law

One of the fun things about being a law student is you get to read cases that involve people with genuine issues of mental disturbance/delusion. Today, I bring you two examples of this, from the realm of trusts and estates law. First, the cat who has it made:

Margeret Layne, an elderly, childless widow who lived in London, took in a stray cat named Tinker. Soon Tinker becamse accustomed to life in his English manor, and Layne took measures to ensure that Tinker could continue this life of luxury after her death in 2003. Under Layne's will, Tinker was given run of the house, worth about $500,000, plus a trust fund of about $170,000. The trustees make a daily delivery of food and milk. "The sliding door to the green house-where Tinker likes to go 'for a bit of a lie-down'-is left open to save the indignity of him squeezing through the cat flap." Layne did put one condition on Tinker's bounty: "If Tinker abandons the property permanently the trustees shall at their discretion be entitled to bring the trust to an end." At last report Tinker was still living in the house, along with Lucy and Stardust, two other cats who had since befriended him, doubtless for his personality and not his money."

The editors of my case book are not without a sense of humor.

And this gem, concerning marital distress:

The facts of Newman v. Dore are unusual. The husband was 80 and his wife in her 30's when they married. After four years of marriage, the wife sued for separation, claiming her husband's perverted sexual habits made it impossible to live with him. The record does not make clear what the octogenarian's alleged perversions were, though he did receive monkey glands by surgical transplant. Indignant over his wife's charges, the husband instructed his lawyer to disinherit her. The separation action was still pending as his death.

No doubt the "monkey glands" failed to serve either purpose he might have intended.

Anwyay, that's fun with the law for today. Ta ta!

Yes, that's right...I'm back

Prepare yourselves (you few to none who still peruse horadrim.blogspot.com) I have returned for at least one more post! And, as a plus for you threewiseguys, it will be political in nature! But, don't worry, it won't be charged in a liberal or conservative way, it's more a philosophical idea I wanted some comments on. So, on the next post, I will unveil it in all its glory...

Spam...or danger??

So I'm checking my email below, and get this message below:

Alex, is there any possibility of doing 2:00 or does that really screw you up? I may need to do a four-way session with another therapist at 3...
H

"Eye of the Burning Man (A Mick Callahan Novel)"Five Star Mysteries, ISBN 1-59414-381-1November, 2005

Of course I immediately assume this is spam. After all, I've seen plenty of emails that draw you in with a mysterious/intriguing subject, but then have a link where you can buy "herbl v1agra" or somesuch. And yet, this email seems...too personal. So I do a google search of the sender's email address, and find that it's actually posted on some discussion groups for mysteries. Following that trail, I eventually find that yes in fact, the person who sent this to me(or at least, the person who's email was used to send this to me) is in fact a real person, and resides online here. In fact, he's the very author of the book mentioned above at the end of the email.

So the question is...why is he writing me about a therapy session? Where did he get my email address from, and how on Earth could I have some appointment of some kind with someone I've never heard of before now? Very, very interesting. And somewhat ironic, that a man who writes mysteries would present me, out of the blue, with a mystery of my own. The question now of course is should I email and get to the bottom of this little mystery? Or does that risk my entry into a dark and foreboding work of mental illness and obsession? I await your comments.

Whoa

Doing my typical late night internet "research", I ran across this picture here. While it's animated, it's entirely too inappropriate for me to just toss up on Horadrim, so click at your own risk.

Please submit your intepretations as to what the picture means. Thanks.

A Day at the Library

For those of you who don't know, in addition to pursuing my legal studies this semester and learning about cool things like "laughing heirs" (which you don't want, no matter how neat that sounds) I'm also working in the law library. In circulation of course. Now there's a vast difference between my old job at North Lake and this job here, the main one being that at North Lake I actually worked. Now if you know anything about how much work I did/did not do at North Lake, you'll get a sense of what it's like for me here. But all in all it's okay, as I basically get paid to sit here and study/read/blog/email/doze. The only complaint I have is about the chair I sit in,which is terminally un-adjustable, so that when I sit in it I'm either reclined so far back I look like I'm about to fall over, or I have to sit straight up and slouch over my books and the keyboard. I made the mistake of asking why this chair hasn't been replaced on my first day; my question was met with a blank stare, after which I have not dared to re-ask it. Resistence to change is a trait shared by all libraries, it would seem.

Another trait that the CUA law library shares with other libraries is wacky patrons. Now this library is intended to be used by just the law students here. Even other non-law students at CUA aren't that welcome. But in an effort to curry good favor with the community, the library does allow the good citizens of the community to come in and do legal research here. You would think that being a pretty small, pretty field-specific library, the school law library would probably fail to draw the attention of local nut-cases. You would be wrong.

One gentleman who's come to my attention is referred to as donut man. He's called that because he has a tendency to bring donuts to the staff when he visits. Unfortunately those donuts are grocery store donuts, usually at least 1 or 2 days out of date, if not more. No one eats donut man's donuts.

Believe it or not, people will also sneak into small, middle-of-the road law school libraries to use the computer to-of course-look at porn. At one time there were only four computers in this whole library that you didn't have to be a student to use. Those computers were in a pretty open place, right near the entrance of the library, where anyone coming in could walk by and catch a glimpse of one our public users...looking at porn. Those computers are no longer there.

It would seem the law library be a place of tension as well. I was told a story of how this past summer, fisticuffs broke out between some people arguing over who got to use the computers to-what else?-look at porn. If you guessed that these people were not students here, you would be right.

Needless to say, this library also finds itself utilizing the powerful tool of banning people from the library. From what I understand, there is a list of these banned people with approximate descriptions of them and their various crimes (sort of like a wanted poster) floating around here somewhere, though I have yet to see it. To my knowledge no one has been banned for following little girls around and peeping at them through the stacks, though the male students have a tendency to peep at the female students through the stacks. From my observations I have deduced that the female students generally don't mind such peeping.

So that's life in the law library. D.C. out.