Michael Moore’s a Dumbass

While bored at work and glossing over the TWM’s blog to see what hilarious conservative bashing was going on, I found they had links to several liberal-themed websites, one of them being Michael Moore’s.

He has a section called “Factual Backup” for Fahrenheit 911 (a movie I never saw) where he supports his claims with “facts.” Anyway, here is an example of some of them, and my refute follows each one. There’s a helluva lot more of this stuff on the website.

“Fox was the first network to call Florida for Bush. Before that, some other networks had called Florida for Gore, and they changed after Fox called it for Bush.”

First of all, who cares what network said Bush won Florida or not. How is that relevant to anything? The state had a recount, and Bush edged out the victory. How do the news networks have a bearing on Florida’s recount? Plus, how the hell does any of this have anything to do with 911? All this proves is that Mr. Moore is a dumbshit.

“The man who was in charge of the decision desk at FOX on election night was Bush’s first cousin, John Ellis.”

Again, how is this relevant? So what if Bush’s cousin might have pulled some strings to say Bush was the winner of Florida. This has no bearing on the recount in Florida, and absolutely nothing to do with 911. I feel this is factual evidence that Mr. Moore is a retard.

“On the day George W. Bush was inaugurated, tens of thousands of Americans poured into the streets of D.C. They pelted Bush’s limo with eggs.”

Okay. So what? Anyone could see half the country would be upset because Gore lost. Earth to Michael “Dumbfuck” Moore: After any election in any country, many people are upset if their candidate loses. In addition, this has no relevance whatsoever to 911. Perhaps Mr. Moore was upset because he wasn’t able to eat those eggs.

“On Sept. 10, 2001 , Bush joined his brother in Florida where he slept the night in ‘a bed made of fine French linens.’”

Okay, this is just getting absurd. I don’t know whether Mr. Moore is upset about Bush being in Florida the night before 911, or the fact that Bush slept on a “bed made of fine French linens.” I think Mr. Moore is jealous because he sleeps on a bed made of discarded food bits left over from stuffing his fat face.

“Nearly seven minutes passed with nobody doing anything [after the second plane crashed into the WTC].”

Oh my God! SEVEN WHOLE MINUTES passed! I’m glad someone there had a stopwatch to monitor the EXACT time when Bush made his decision. Gosh, you would think seven entire minutes could have stopped all terrorism forever. God forbid Bush weighing his options before taking decisive action. Sometimes it takes seven minutes just to wipe my own ass.

In conclusion, I think Michael Moore is about as smart as a deaf, mute, blind hippo with brain damage.