And a few more

Here ya go David

Dont know why but my camera gives people serious red eye with that bright red light on the front but anway...

Damn fine game

Deflexion, the laser game.

This is a game like chess, but the object is to position these mirrors so that the lasers in the board will reflect and hit the opponents pharoh. Also you have to protect yours and realize that your pieces can be used against you.

Hitman Blood Money = Fun

Thanks to #4 lending me his Xbox360 for a while, I’ve become fond of “Hitman: Blood Money” where you’re a hired assassin that takes out all sort of baddies: from drug lords to child pornographers.

I’ve never played any of the “Hitman” games before this one. There is a lot of emphasis on stealth and cleverness; however, you can go in guns blazing if you wish. I think it’s more fun to do it the sneaky way even if it means there are periods in the game where you’re just waiting around. My last mission was pretty fun. It involved sneaking into an opera house during a rehearsal, and one of my targets was a performer in the show. He’s in an execution scene where some Nazi shoots him with a pistol. All I had to do was replace the prop gun with a real one and voila, down he goes.

The mission I’m currently on involves infiltrating an insane asylum, so what do I do? Why, I kill one of the patients, take his clothes, and put his body in a dumpster of course. There’s lots of chances to put bodies in dumpsters throughout the game, and sometimes laundry hampers or conveniently body-sized crates. I also stole a patient’s admission papers to allow me into the mental institution. My favorite part so far is coming up. A security guard has to pat me down before I’m allowed in. Now I have the papers in my hand, and I’m trying to show it to him. What does my character do instead? Well, he grabs the guard by the head and viciously headbutts him in the face. The guard is screaming with blood gushing from his nose as other security personnel begin to arrive. In other words, I’m made.

As hilarious as this was (I had to restart from a saved point), I argue that a crazy person would headbutt people in the face. How could that be more convincing? I’m insane. I headbutt people. It’s what I do. But alas, it is just a game, and any violence towards security will arouse suspicion. As a side note, if you allow the guard to pat you down, he will take all your weapons, but still allows you to enter the complex as if it’s perfectly normal for a mental patient to have a silenced .45 and a sub-machine gun.

I look forward to finishing that mission tonight.

Dancing with the Stars

I'm not usually a big fan of reality/competition shows, but this sounds like it's going to be hysterical...(from E!Online)

For its third season, 11 entertainers will vie for the disco-balled hardware that last year's winner, Drew Lachey, rather generously described as "ugly."

Jerry Springer, Tucker Carlson, Vivica A. Fox, Harry Hamlin, Mario Lopez, Joe (the artist formerly known as Joey) Lawrence, Emmitt Smith, Sara Evans, Willa Ford, Shanna Moakler and Monique Coleman are all primed and ready to hit the dance floor.

What exactly is "disco-balled hardware"??? Jerry Springer and Emmitt Smith... did you ever think you'd see those names in the same sentence? Not to mention in the same sentence as "ready to hit the dance floor"?

This Weekend

Anything interesting/fun/exciting/felchy going on this weekend?

Speedstacks - Future Olympic Sport?

While wandering through Target last night, Daniel and I saw an amazing new game that all the kids will be asking for this Christmas. For only $40, you too can own a set of 12 plastic cups for you to stack, unstack, and restack. But that's not all... you'll also get the patented StackMat, the official timing device of the WSSA, the World Sport Stacking Association. Don't be fooled by the cups' regular appearance; these aren't your typical plastic cups. They have holes in the bottom to ensure smooth and fast stacking. Big hands? Small hands? That don't matter... these cups are sized and shaped for hands of all sizes. Get yours today, before they're all gone and you're forced to by yours in the paper and party supply aisle for 1/8th the price. Just don’t forget to poke the holes in the bottom of them.

Request for #4

#4, when are you going on your Kansas trip?

I have one request: That you take pictures and post a few on the blog when it's over. I'd be interested to see.

Check out scorps profile

scorp finally made a profile today, does anyone else think it's as crazy as i do?

Range Report, NERF Longshot

Form Factor

First of all, this thing is friggin’ gigantic by NERF standards. Here it is set up next to my M1A for comparison. The gun has a comfortable feel in the hand. The trigger is as clean as any NERF action I’ve ever fired and the bolt is made of actual metal, ambidextrous and extremely rugged. The stock can collapse for CQB but it extremely difficult to operate, as clearance is very low and I can’t get my hand all the way around the pistol grip.

Surprise

Like the “Secret Shot” line of NERF pistols, the Longshot is equipped with an optional barrel extension that can also serve independently as a single-shot pistol. It has its own trigger that you can use as a slightly awkward forward vertical grip. The main barrel of the extension is fluted, ostensibly to keep the dart on a straight trajectory. In a tactical NERF situation, the second shot could be extremely useful; however, the extra length the extension provides makes the gun a little clumsy for indoor use unless you hold it under your armpit with the stock collapsed. Here's a shot of the gun in compact configuration.

Ammo

The “Streamline” darts that the gun fires don’t have a suction cup on top; instead, they are all capped by a semi-soft plastic jacket. In fact, these darts look like nothing so much as a rimless .38 special. Here’s a picture of one of these darts next to a 7.62x51mm rifle round for comparison.

Magazine

The gun’s magazine holds 6 darts, and is about the size of a 10-round rifle mag. The back of the mag has a cutout that displays the back of a DART when all 6 rounds are loaded. The Longshot shipped with 2 mags, and the extra one stores underneath the back of the folding stock, much like a Kel-Tec SU-16. The mag locks in place and can only be removed by throwing a mag release while the bolt is locked back. While this might be acceptable on a gas-driven rifle, where the bolt locks itself back after the final shot, it’s fairly annoying on a NERF.

Scope

The scope is really the weak point of the Longshot. Although its aperture is large and easy to use with both eyes open, the crosshair is difficult to make out without a backlit target environment. The point of aim is very high—you would need to aim for the head to hit the body in the dart’s effective range.

Price

$30. I’ve paid more for less.

Euro Trip - Part Two

Due to popular request, below are more pictures from my sister's recent trip to Europe. I apologize in advance for hogging blog space.

WARNING: ONE PICTURE MAY NOT BE WORK SAFE. But I felt it was too weird not to post it. It's near the bottom on purpose, so don't scroll down if you're supervisor or Lord is watching over you. It's really not that bad; not like a Goatse monument or something.

The first picture is the "8 foot tall" dude she met in Germany. As you can see, you can't really tell how tall he is. Supposedly they had a "special night" together, but I don't want to go into detail for fear of wretching all over my keyboard.


Next are some fellows she met near Berlin and subsequently camped with. I bet you can't guess their sexual orientation.


This is a group shot of some folks she met in Amsterdam, including the two guys from my first post. I like the BBW on the left personally. Click on the picture to get a better look. You could FF that all day long.


This next one is a weird African dude she found in Rome. A funny story goes along with this one. Late one night whilst heavily intoxicated, my sister left a club with this guy. I think his name is Ali. Anyway, while crossing under a bridge, they ran into an Italian brandishing a knife. Now this was no spaghetti chef, so Ali kicked the Italian in the balls or something, so the Italian naturally collapsed on the ground. Unbeknowest to Ali and my sister, another assailant came running at them; however, and to my amazement, the Italian Policia arrive out of nowhere and put the smack down the second assailant before he reached my sister. The Policia, naturally, beat the two muggers on the ground ala Rodney King. And then my sister gets to spend a lovely night at the Italian Police Headquarters! True story. She swears the police arrived instantaneously as if they had been watching them the whole time. Those crazy dagos. Anyway, here is Ali (black dude in the middle):


This is just a cool picture of some non-hairy bears I wanted to post:


And here we are to the non-work safe picture. Just a tower of disembodied boobies.


And finally, here's a hilarious picture of Josh and some jabroni I wanted to post, not relevant to anything.


Like I said the absolute best picture you've already seen in my first post, but some of these may be close seconds. Like many Euro Trippers, there's lots of pictures of boring crap you see in the museums or landscapes, so I'll spare you the pain.

Ciao.

One very bad night....

Let me start by saying that yesterday i called in sick to work. I originally wanted to have pictures to go along with this that would help illustrate the story, but due to how slow the Libraries network is....getting pictures just isn't doable right now. Back to the story....allow me to explain the situation:

My breakfast that morning consisted of eggs and cheese. My lunch was cheese pizza. For dinner I had a plate (or 2) of 4 cheese lasagna with a side of garlic and cheese toast. It was only after dinner that I realized that perhaps I shouldn’t have had all that cheese.

Around 7:30 that evening I was sitting on the couch. While watching my son play around living room it hit me....the stomach wrenching gas pain that attacks from nowhere. It was as if a roman candle had just been set off inside my stomach. The gas at that instant was so bad I couldn’t release it from either end (if you don't get it....wait. It'll hit you soon enough); I could only ball up in pain. After a few seconds the pain was gone. Having turned red all over my face and neck, the wife asks if I’m ok. I wasn’t sure. But I knew if I stayed on the couch much longer we would have a terrible mess to clean up…so I darted for the nearest bathroom. Being that he had about a four step head start along with me now being able to only take small steps in fear that if I ran in full stride I would prematurely “lose my luggage”….Ben beat me to the bathroom and locked the door. So I ran across the house to the other bathroom in all out agony.

Once perched on my throne it was like the philharmonic orchestra decided to bust out into a full set. Loud bangs here, sonic booms there, an occasional gust of wind from over in the flute section....but nothing of any substance. The gas rumbled on with no end in site.

Around 10:30 the wife comes to me to check on me. By this time I had made it into the other bathroom. She brings me medicine. “Gas-Ex” the box reads. Sounds like a great idea...at the time. I had more gas than a Valero Gas Station, so down the hatch the medicine went. Being that I was only about 12 moves from finishing the Sodoku puzzle I was working on I decided to sit there and finish it out before attempting to retreat to bed. Good thing I did. It only took a few short minutes for the Gas-Ex to kick in. I glanced at the box. Sure enough it read in small print “Instant Action”. I could see the turmoil quickly coming to an end.

The orchestra was in all out Chorus mode. Rumbles here, thundering there. Nothing was soft or quiet at this point in time. The “music” was fast and it was furious. And apparently it was out of tune. My master bathroom is in the master bedroom. And well, once the chorus picked up, my wife left the room. She muttered something about being too loud and waking her up. I wasn’t paying too much attention as it was also time for one of what would be many emergency flushes. I was wrong. The situation was far from over.

There must have been 4 or 5 episodes of these loose bowel movements. Not only did I get near the point of dehydration, but my 2 year old son (who I guess was also awoken) learned the phrase “loose bowel, got the runs” that night.

The wife comes to the restroom again. This time she was holding a box of Imodium Advance. On the box it reads “Rapid Relief of Diarrhea”. Thank goodness. That’s exactly what I needed. The box said to take 2 at the next bowel loss, 1 after the second loss, and one more additional pill after the 3rd episode. I cut to the chase and took 3 right off. This was no time for waiting games. I needed relief and I needed it right then.

At that point my body was fighting through the combination of a large amount of cheese, Gas-Ex and Imodium. The cheese was doing its best to stop me up, the Gas-Ex was trying to reverse that, and well...the Imodium was trying to reverse the reversing that the Gas-Ex was performing on the cheese.

I thought I was about to explode.

And so I did.

I’m not sure exactly what happened next. But I do know I cried out in pain. I’m not sure what giving birth feels like, but I’m guessing this was as close as I’ll ever get. The last bout only lasted about 3 minutes. That’s 3 minutes I never want to go through ever, ever again.

Needless to say, I'm back at work today and all is good.

Thought Police (aka "scientists")

"Science", if you can refer to such a broad concept as a single entity, has become an ideological bulwark. The establishment today has so long ago lost its roots that it has become what it once fought against: dogmatic metaphysical indoctrination.

Science, as a term, is simply the quest for knowledge and understanding. Technically, it isn't even the study of "truth"; rather it merely collects and arranges data. It is supposed to be very much like a trial judge: an impartial force with no investment in or desire for a certain conclusion. Just as a trial judge is not supposed to care which side wins or loses, science is not supposed to care what conclusions the data supports. In the words of Carl Sagan:

"The suppression of uncomfortable ideas may be common in religion or in politics, but it is not the path to knowledge, and there's no place for it in the endeavor of science."

Why, then, do we find ourselves in a very different situation? "Science", the establishment, has made it clear that any conclusions supporting creationism, christianity, teology, and many other concepts are not allowed. Wait a minute. That is not an impartial force with no investment in or desire for a certain conclusion. Therefore, I must conclude that these are not the words of science but rather the words of a dogmatic metaphysical system of thought. If the data at hand somehow did indicate that creationism was the best explanation for biological life, why is that not allowed? Where is the quest for knowledge if certain conclusions are ruled out a priori? The discrepancy is so blatant that I just summed it up in a single paragraph. What happened to science?

What if the data at hand indicated that humans have souls, that God does exist, that miracles have occurred, and that this world and universe were intelligently designed? Why should science care? It isn't supposed to prejudge. It doesn't work to simply say that science is the study of only physical things becuase that automatically assumes that nonphysical things can neither be studied nor can be the conclusion from physical study. Where is there evidence for such a conclusion? Science isn't supposed to care.

Take this quote from David Berlinski (not a creationist, by the way) in response to one of his critics:

"Paul R. Gross is anxious lest in criticizing Darwinian theory I give comfort to creationists. It is a common concern among biologists, but one, I must confess, to which I am indifferent. I do not believe biologists should be in the business of protecting the rest of us from intellectual danger."

How poignant a statement! When did science become our thought police? Why should science care what we believe or what we doubt?

It can only be concluded that the behavior of "science", the establishment, indicates an overarching worldview that they seek to enforce. Otherwise they honestly shouldn't care what the data indicates. I say this is a serious problem and gross waste of our society's time and money. Why does science care what we believe? That isn't its business.

Why should "science", the establishment, care if a certain school board wants to teach Intelligent Design? [Adam was waiting for my statement on this]. It isn't science's domain to tell us what to believe, only to present us with its findings. Why does science care if the data can be interpreted to support teleology? It isn't supposed to care if it really is impartialy seeking the truth, no matter what that truth might be. In fact, from this school board reaction, I can tell that science didn't even do its homework (not that it should have been involved in the first place). Even reading a single book on Intelligent Design shows that it strongly supports evolution. In fact, Intelligent Design theorists are primarily staunch evolutionists but not Darwinists; they see design and teleology as inherent properties of the natural world. Again, why should science care?

It really is time to grow up. I don't need thought police, do you?

Euro Trip

As some of you may know, my sister has recently returned from a trip to Europe. Last night she downloaded her pictures onto my computer. I believe this one picture below sums up what her trip was like:



I shit you not this is a REAL picture from her trip. There are other pictures that would also sum up her trip, but I feel they are too, um, "illegal" to post on the web for the world to see.

If you click on the picture to see it full size, it's even more hideous.

Aspiring spam author?

They both leaned back in the berlin and laughed. Bonaparte looked at the man but did not see him. The short streets twisted and turned and ran into one another in aseemingly hopeless maze. But it is a mind insubordinate and without curb. Jancey, the grey-haired clerk, next to whom Anthony was seated, hadlittle to say. Thegreatest curse of nations is the weakness of will in the great-magistrate. A place was foundfor him next to Vincent and directly across from Anthony. It is natural that you, the grandson of Necker, should notunderstand me. Joseph had only to appear and Napoleon waslittle brother again. Cambacérès like so many rows of rubies in thetorchlight. He can reallytell you something about the African project. They heard the bugles coming up behind them. They insisted that he should come with them. They must be in a bad way across the Channel. Eighteen-hundred-one, Year Nine, as the newspapers must still say,encore une autre mode. But we might not have gone toheadquarters at all. You will end in the army yet, you rascal. He shoved the hat sidewiseand went out to drink with Latour. I do not addressyou alone but all those to whom you will return. Latour, you theadjutant of the generals mess, to M. Ouvrard patronized them and brought themalong. Four apparently empty post-chaises that had followed him now beganto be unloaded. Paul, shouted Vincent, beginning to hammer on the door. This is the Rue des Francs Bourgeoisand we are driving into the Marais.

WTF?! Gay Cowboy Cast as the Joker?

Per CNN.com, Heath Ledger is set to play the Joker in the next Batman movie starring Christian Bale.

"LOS ANGELES, California (Hollywood Reporter) -- Batman is heading into a sequel, titled "The Dark Knight," and he will face off against the Joker, this time played by Heath Ledger."

First of all, nobody will compare to Jack Nicholson's performace in the 1989 film directed by Tim Burton.

Secondly, it's Heath Ledger. Need I say more?