Basic Instinct 2: Basicer Instincts!

Um...so, why?

This time around Catherine is playing mind-games with the ambitious and arrogant Dr. Andrew Glass, a renowned shrink who is brought in by the police to see if Catherine is fit to stand trial. She has been charged with the apparent murder of her fiancee Larry Houseman.

You can see the trailer for the movie here.

I remember seeing the first one. It was kind of risque, but in hindsight it seems pretty tame and kind of silly. Sharon Stone's still fairly hot (at least to me), but if this in theaters for more than a month I'm going to be surprised.

Texas arresting people in bars for being drunk

This is the dumbest thing ever.

So of course it's in our state!

Never end up like this

Found on gorillamask:



Life can be rough for some people. Even for a pretty girl in New York City. In fact, life's roughness can sometimes be documented visually through the mugshots in your criminal arrest record.

I nearly busted a gut laughing...

Never snort wasabi

Uh...

If like me you think the term "quagmire" is too frequently used to describe foreign affairs debacles (specifically Iraq as of late), you might be intrigued to learn that being metaphorically mired in a quagmire in another country is nothing like being literally mired in a real quagmire here in Dallas County:

Sgt. Don Peritz said deputies stopped the man in his vehicle for having an outdated registration sticker. He said the man fled into a nearby field after deputies learned he had falsely identified himself.

According to Peritz, deputies searched for about an hour before they found the man sunk up to his waist in a quagmire. They tried repeatedly over several hours to pull him out, but they were forced to call for help after they also began sinking into the cold mud. The man eventually died before he could be removed.

I must admit I didn't even know a qaugmire was something beyond a jacked up country you can't get out of. So the next time you're tempted to use the abused metaphor, think of this poor fella expiring in muck up to his waist and consider if in fact that's what you really mean.

In case you ever wondered...

whether you should do something nude or not, these folks have compiled a handy list.

Some examples:
Things To Do Nude...
Acting
Aerobics
Aviation
Babysitting
Badminton

Things *NOT* To Do Nude...
Aircraft Maintenance
Arrive at work late
Attend PTA meetings
BBQ sizzling meat
Baseball

You Make The Call...
Barefoot Waterskiing
Body Surfing
Carpentry
Ironing
Motorcycling

I seriously hope I never see anyone "making the call" to do nude motorcycling. Or anything else, for that matter.

Holy crap, this is funny

Some genius realized that this basketball player looked a lot like the zombie from Land of the Dead. Check it out here.

Dude! A new Mario game...

Read about it here.

This is just beautful

Why has Axl's album Chinese Democracy been delayed for so long? Go here to find out!

The fastest game of Super Mario Bros. ever

Watch it here.

Waste your time on this game

Splashback is fun.

Big'un or Little'un?

Time to measure up guys!

An UCSF study by Wessells et.al. published in 1996 found an average of 5.1 inches (13.0 cm). (Measured by staff)

A study by a Brazilian urologist found an average of 5.7 inches (14.5 cm). (Measured by staff)

A German study in 1996 also reported an average of 5.7 inches (14.5 cm). (Measured by staff)

A study conducted by LifeStyles Condoms during 2001 Spring Break in Cancún found an average of 5.9 inches (15.0 cm). (Measured by staff)

A study conducted by the Korean Consumer Protection Board (KCPB) at a college campus found an average of 6.1 inches (15.5 cm).

The longest erect penis on record is around 12 inches (30 cm). The shortest erect penis on record is under 1/2 an inch (1.3 cm), not counting cases where men are born without a penis.

A study conducted by the Journal of Sexology in Japan found an average of 5.1 inches (12.9 cm) (Measured by staff)

A study by the Jacobus Survey in India found an average of 4.0 inches (10.1 cm) (Measured by staff)

Don't let the ladies see this. We might lose not only our jobs, but also our women to the third world.

Of course, that might be the least of our problems:

Genital retraction syndrome (GRS), generally considered a culture-specific syndrome, is a condition in which an individual is overcome with the belief that his/her external genitals or also, in females, breasts, are retracting into the body, shrinking, or in some male cases, may be imminently removed or disappear. A penis panic is a mass hysetria event or panic where males in a population suddenly exhibit symptoms of genital retraction syndrome.

Penis panics in southeast Asia have become known under the term "Koro" (which means "head of the turtle" in Malay). Some anthropologists have referred to Koro as a culture-bound syndrome, but it is phenomenologically related, if not identical, to penis panics in various cultures. Koro most commonly describes the extreme fear that the penis is retracting into the body, including the idea that such retraction will bring about death. It can also refer to beliefs of "genital theft" or some kind of sorcery which has resulted in the loss of penis. Sometimes the testicles are also believed to be affected.

Good thing we don't have to worry about that here in the good old US of A. Our biggest concern is the drastic color changing of our getinal area.

"Life" Gem

Mom?

I'd heard of this particular service before, but now I figured it's time to share it with my Horadrim bretheren. In case you're wondering what a "life" gem is...well, let's let the makers speak for themselves:

The LifeGem^® is a certified, high-quality diamond created from the carbon of your loved one as a memorial to their unique life.

The LifeGem diamond provides a way to embrace your loved one’s memory day by day. The LifeGem^® is the most unique and timeless memorial available for creating a testimony to their unique life.

Your LifeGem memorial will offer comfort and support when and where you need it, and provide a lasting memory that endures just as a diamond does. Forever.

That's correct. The life gem is an artificial diamond created using the remains of any carbon-based life form you knew that has recently exited this plane of existence. Now at first you might be inclined to think this is a little weird, perhaps even grotesque. But I actually think it's kind of cool, at least in theory. I'm not sure how good of an idea it is to be wearing on your body something that might have been created out of the ash of your loved one's most private of areas. But if you equate to to a lock of hair (as opposed to a necklace made of dead V.C. ears) then it's really not so strange. And anyway they're kind of pretty. And seeing how it's Nat-Wu's fervant wish to be cremated in the manner of a viking, we can at least make some use of him afterwards.

UPDATE: Um, I just realized somewhat shame-facedly that Adam blogged about this about a year or so ago. So, my bad for stealing his idea and blogging about something that's already been done.

UPDATE II: Upon further reflection, it saddens me to think that Horadrim has come to the point of hapless bloggers having to blog about things TWICE for want of ideas.