Regular Hot Christmas Action!

So continuing with the Christmas theme...I thought to myself "Okay so there's not much more Christmas humor and pranking out there. What haven't I covered?" Well, upon thinking about it, I realized there was one crucial Christmas-theme internet phenomenon I had yet to discuss. Yes, that's correct...I'd not yet blogged about christmas porn.

One would imagine there's not a whole lot of this stuff out there. Compared to the incredibly vast empire of porn that is slathered all over the internet, you might be right. And yet, Christmas porn does in fact exist. How do I know this? Well...merely paying a visit to "Santa Clause Porn" affirms that fact for me. Here's how this lovely website describes itself:


This adult website is for you if you want to celebrate a horny xmas with seductive young babes. Slutty xmas whores licking p#@#$, sucking the big d*&% of Santa Claus and drinking his c#$ ... Hey, you’ll even get some incredible 3somes featuring slutty angels f*$%&*& Santa Claus and Christmas XXX Toons. Imagine you’re the lucky Santa Claus and come on in to view the very best xmas porn you ever will see! CHECK IT OUT NOW!

If that doesn't give you a good idea of what's going on here, try clicking on this link for a few visual representations. (Is it possible that as little girls, these "actresses" dreamed of the day they would fellate Santa Clause?)

If you happen to be a guy who bats for the other team, "Gay Christmas" is the thing for you (DO NOT CLICK ON THIS AT WORK! Actually, just don't click on it period.) At least none of these "gentleman" appears to be dressed as Santa Clause, which puts them one step ahead of the fellows over at Santa's website.

If anyone here chooses to click on these links and inflict this stuff on their eyeballs, at least you will have had a choice in the matter. This unfortunate family was subjected to a little Christmas porn of their own, though not by choice:

A northeast Ohio family hoping to see choirs perform holiday music on Christmas morning instead saw adult programming on the local public access television station.

"I turn it to Channel 15 and there's this naked lady on the screen - I mean full-frontal, get-the-hell-out-of-here pornography," said David Umana. "When I tell about Christmas 2004, I'm betting this will be one of my best stories."

Indeed! (By the way, he deserves an award for best description of porn ever.)

Well guys, after these travels across the internet I may be tapped for Christmas themed ideas. But if you've got any, let me know and I'll bust out google and do the research, so that I can fulfill my Christmas-ghost mandated duty(handed down to me last year on a night of eggnog revelry) of keeping everyone on top of these important subjects.