Internet Theft

Well, here I am in crappy cold ass washington and was just wondering, is Internet service theft wrong. I only wonder this because I am using someone elses wireless network that they did not secure, so for all I know they could be sharing. They are probably stupid, but who knows. Anyway this place already has frost on the freaking ground, and doing pushups on that stings like hell after your hands loose all feeling and are dieing. Well, thats all for now, later kiddies.

Company Making Gems from People's Ashes

What do you say guys?

http://www.lifegem.com

Happy Turkey Day, bitches!

Have a good one.

He's harmless...really!

He can fly!

I couldn't help it. I had to blog about him. If you haven't seen this guy's website yet,
you must. You can be ignorant of this fellow no more than you can be of goatse or tubgirl. So go here. Don't worry...he doesn't stretch his anus or anything.

Update: Okay, if you haven't seen this guy since he made the email rounds among us a few years back, you really should go back to his webpage. He's got quite a few new costumes(if that's what you're interested in)and a "Pixie Friends" page with pictures people have sent him of themselves dressed as...well, you'll see. There's a "grrls" section with some hot(and not so hot)fairies, a "bois" section with some...we'll, you'll see(let's just say he's no longer alone) a kids section and even a "pixie pets" section. He also has a section of is his "everday" wear. Oh, and yes it looks like he still has the same haircut.

Anyway, go an enjoy. Who knows...maybe it'll appeal to the "eternal child" in you!

I didn't remember it going down like that ???

Uuuummmmm.....

Better not make fun of I am a piss man!

he's got a gun!

Viva Las Vegas...

Ok, I hope you guys aren't asleep yet or at least read this during the morning or take you laptops with you. But tonight Jason asked me for Las Vegas suggestions and I said I'd blog them.

Gambling:

So you only have 24 hours and you're staying at the Hilton. Now the Hilton should be perfectly fine for gambling if that's your thing. If you're really hardcore, the best places to gamble are the older casinos along the strip and in old downtown. Newer casinos are trying to make their money back from building their multi-million dollar complex, so the odds are worse. But from what Jason was saying, I don't think gambling is going to be your main focus, which is a good thing. On the weekends, the odds are worse as are the crowds. It gets harder to find low minimum tables too. Definitely gamble during the day because the peak hours are at night. I like the table games myself, but it's intimidating at first if you've never played them before in a casino (i.e. you probably have played them by yourself like you do with your wenis). Video poker has pretty good odds and is kinda fun. Slots are boring to me, and they usually suck down my change without giving me any thrill. But don't play anything less than dollar slots if you seriously want to win money. The odds for higher dollar slot machines are much better than the quarter and nickel slots.

Fyi...All cocktail waitresses know the ol'trick of sitting at a nickel slot machine, plugging away a nickel at a time so you can get a free drink. When I've tried this, they usually ignored me. You really have to be sitting at a table to get frequent drinks. A word of advice on drinks: you get a much better deal if you ask for beer instead of mixed drinks. The alcohol in mixed drinks is very disappointing. At one casino, they would bring me bottles of Smirnof Ice at my command. Also, don't expect to sit at a bar and play the video machines on the counter. They'll still charge you for a drink. (I tried that too.)

Finally, never ever ever gamble at the Bellagio. I lost all my winnings and more there my first trip to Vegas.

Transportation:

Cabs are pretty cheap and plentiful. Around 5 bucks a pop. They really are the best transportation. On the strip you can walk from casino to casino, but each casino is so monstrous that it takes a good while before you reach the next one. Plus, I think now there's a monorail or tram that connects the Hilton to the Strip (since the Hilton is off the strip). Not sure if that's free or not.

Drinking:

Aside from gambling drinks stated above, I highly recommend Fat Tuesday's at the MGM Grand. Cost is $5-7 bucks and here's what you should get (they serve frozen drinks only):

1/2 Hurricane + 1/2 Octane 190 + extra shot of Everclear = damn good time

The servings are gracious. You can get a yard if you want, I think.

Also, Warp Core Breach at the Hilton in Quark's Bar: I know you all will get this. It's about $30-40 bucks though, but it'll "get the job done" even if two of you share one.

Sites:

Hilton: (which you'll stay in) Quark's Bar is cool, and many Star Trek aliens roam the floor, heckling the guests (usually Klingons, Ferengi, and an occasional Borg.) The "Star Trek Experience" is also pretty cool but a little pricey. It's around $20 I believe. They walk you on the bridge, have some actors act, and put you in a shuttlecraft that moves around. Yeah, I made it sound dumb as hell, but as a trekie, I liked it.

MGM Grand: See the lions and visit Fat Tuesday's. Fyi...Fat Tuesday's is a level below the ground level. It's a little hard to find, but worth it. MGM's buffett is very, very good and reasonably priced as well ($15.00 as I remember).

Luxor: This is one of my favorites. Inside is really cool looking, and I had good luck gambling here. The Blue Men live here too.

Caesar's Palace: Inside is quite a spectacle. Wander around the Forum (i.e. lots of shops) where lives an FAO Swartz.

Statosphere Bar: If you can make it to the end of the strip where sits the Stratosphere, the bar at the top of the tower is incredible at night. I wouldn't eat dinner there because it's $40-50 bucks a pop. Since you're not a guest, they may charge you to ride the elevator up.

Ghost Bar: I haven't been at this one myself, but it's in the Palms. I've heard this bar is also awesome, being mostly made of glass. The cover could be around $20 though.

Bellagio: Watch the fountains or eat at the buffett which is beyond incredible (but costs $25.00). However, see above. Never gamble here.

Treasure Island: Outside you can watch the Pirate Show. Corny but free.

Well that's all folks. I've heard great things about Hard Rock and Mandalay Bay but have yet to grace them with my presence.

Have a fun trip. Escorts aren't free nor cheap.

Road Trip

As some of you may know, Jason is reporting for duty in Washington this coming Monday, and he intends to drive there. I'm going along for the ride, and along the way we'll be stopping at Las Vegas, Salt Lake City, and we'll end up in Seattle. I need you guys to offer up suggestions for us so we can bring back some great pictures to blog.

Here is a nice image that Google picked up from the search string "road trip":

Just Wrong....Wrong

Mom Breastfeeds Puppy to Protect Baby
Wed Nov 17, 8:30 AM ET

Oddly Enough - Reuters
WELLINGTON (Reuters) - A woman in New Zealand says she is breastfeeding her pet puppy because she wants it to protect her baby daughter as they both grow up.

Kura Tumanako told the NZPA news agency Wednesday that she had started breastfeeding the Staffordshire bull terrier pup after her baby stopped taking her milk.
"I didn't want to waste it so I gave it to Honey Boy," she said.
According to NZPA, Tumanako said she had fed the dog twice a day for the past week but would probably wean it off in about six weeks' time. Her baby, now 2 months old, is on bottled milk.
"I wanted to raise it (the pup) with my baby," she said. "I wanted to bring it up with a baby. It will protect her as they grow up," said Tumanako, who lives in Hastings in New Zealand's North Island.
"He drinks more than the baby. It doesn't hurt, but it's a little bit ticklish."

It's the counter-counter-culture, ya'll!

http://iowahawk.typepad.com/iowahawk/2004/11/blue_state_blue.html

Sorry, too long to copy and paste.

By the way, what were those aggies doing in Washington State?

Would someone please touch my wenis for me?

I'm always trying to think of funny or bad band names, and yesterday I came up with "The Taliband." However, someone has already taken it! Oh well, I guess there is always "LOL" and "Seven Foot Midget" to fall back on...

Last night, I went to the football game here with some friends. We played the Idaho Vandals and won 51-29. However, with four seconds to go before the game, about a hundred people rushed the field to tear down their goal post. They were supposed to do this, but of course, not until the game finished! But the Vandals were gracious enough to let it go. There was also a contest to win a Ford Mustang, but you had to punt a field goal at various differences and one guy managed to do it. However, to actually get the car you had to throw a football into the car. This one guy threw an incredible throw, but it bounced off! Man, that was awful. We chanted "one more chance" but I think they were scared to hell they might actually have to give someone the car after all.

We also had a costume contest in which people dressed up as green something (our team is the "Mean Green"). One was a green KISS member, a green clown, etc. The winner was a fat, bald guy dressed up as a green eagle (our mascot). It was based on audience applause, and I think he won because he was the most ridiculous running around flapping his wings when the camera came on him.

This game sends us to the New Orleans bowl, which we've almost always gone to. Unfortunately for us students, the admin didn't seem to take this fact into account. See, they just recently decided to push up three days of exams in finals week to the week prior. For me and many others, this means I will take three of my exams on the week before the scheduled finals week, leaving me with one exam the following Friday. So instead of getting to go home, and I have to wait here a whole other week just for one last exam. Fuckers. Maybe Don Rumsfeld does the planning for UNT too (ooh, zing!).

Also, for the first time, my roommate had his girlfriend over and I had to stay out for a few hours. Once when I came back to see if they were done I found out she makes noises like a chimpmunk when she's real excited.

Today, I saw this girl playing pool by herself so I decided to join her. I play often, but she wanted to play 9-ball, which I haven't played before. Anyway, she showed me how, and then I proceeded to beat her. I think she was into me, but that might have ruined it. She's not lousy either, she's actually a plays-pool-in-bars-while-putting-away-the-tequila-better-than-the-guys type of girl. But unlike 8-ball, it doesn't matter how well you've played beforehand, when the 9-ball is in play and you sink it, you win (you guys probably know this, except for Alex ;). I was gonna see if she wanted to help me play pocket pool, but some other people came in. Maybe I'll see her again. I have the uncanny ability to run into people I know while walking around campus. Unfortunately, it hasn't lead to as much sex as I have hoped.

Anyway, that was my weekend. What about you guys?

(And yes, the above is, in part, supposed to make fun of all the diary-type blog sites out there, of which I have been to far too many in the past couple of days.)

Daniel touched my Wenis

I just had someone come up to me to get a library card for computer use. I asked him for ID and he handed me a Department of Corrections identification card, which I then used (as I always do by the way) to look up his name and discovered a certain amount of Branch X lost items still pending on his account. Maybe they went overdue while he was in the slammer...

He then proceeded to yell furiously at a woman (his girlfriend?) for "striking his child" which she didn't do. I thought the cops would need to be called for a moment there.

I wonder if someone's criminal history is grounds for denying them a library card...I mean think about it, if they're known for theft should they be trusted with borrowing items? We don't let kids do it without a "responsible" guardian.

Hey Adam! If you're still a Horadrim...

Did you ever figure out why that Steven Bollocks guy posted two pictures of you on his website? I'm assuming that you don't know him because, I would imagine, that would mitigate your confusion somewhat. Is he stalking you? If so, I'm sure the Horadrim could put petty bickering aside to protect one of its own and, as the old folks say, 'take that nucka out.' At the very least, we could steal his geocaches.

Law School 101

Alex...what's your call on this? Can this really be done and if so, what could John sue himself for and get away with?


Apple sues Apple Corp.

The following is supposedly a true story:

Apple Corporation Sues Itself.[AP]

In a move that has industrial analysts scratching their heads, Apple Computers has filed suit against Apple Computers Corporation. The company claims that Apple has violated the Look and Feel of their own machines which has helped to make the company famous.An Apple Spokesperson stated "This is no joke. If we don't protect our copyrighted interface, everyone will use it and we could lose the exclusive right. So it is in our best interests to sue anyone who uses the Macintosh Look and Feel, including ourselves." The spokesperson says Apple has retained the prestigious LA law firm of Kukla, Fran and Ollie to spearhead the lawsuit. Apple's in house lawyers will defend.Long time Apple observer Ernest Dinklefwat stated that this is a sure sign that Apple has too many lawyers and not enough engineers. "In the old days Apple depended on its talented engineers to keep ahead of the competition, but now they have lost the edge, as well as their grasp on reality."The industry will be sure to watch this case closely. If Apple wins the suit against itself, this could mean a massive recall of all Macintosh and Lisa computers which will need to be converted to avoid all graphics and desktop metaphors and instead provide a simple terminal-like interface. Such a move would cause a massive digression in the personal computer market. Users of computers would be forced to learn to read, which could cause dangerous literacy among college students and professionals.

OMG! Bush orders draft!!

You know, Tony Blair or Anderson Cooper or whoever the hell that is behind him seems to be enjoying it a little too much.

www.actsofgord.com

Imagine that the comic book store guy from the Simpsons was real.
And owned a video game store.
And was (almost certainly) Canadian.
And enjoyed beating up shoplifters waaaaaay too much.

Name That SuperHero

Who da hELL.....

Gay Day at the Science Fair

HALO 2 PARTY

Allrighty, its finally here! I am picking my copy up tonight, Monday the 8th, at midnight. I better see whitey, feels like nine and seamus there so we can blow shit up. Others be invited too, later.

Cragstan warned youse!

The truth....

.

not to start anything.....but....????

&......

did you know......

Aoccdrnig to rscheearch at an Elingsh uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in
waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoetnt tihng is taht
frist and lsat ltteer is at the rghit pclae. The rset can be a toatl
mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae we do
not raed ervey lteter by it slef but the wrod as a wlohe.

Jacko runs from Popo

Earth Force 1

Introducing the Presidential Limo

Library What???

Read a Book, Get Oral Sex?

By Larry Fine
NEW YORK (Reuters) - New York officials were red-faced on Friday after they discovered that clothing ads on city buses that appeared to promote reading suggested a love of books could be rewarded with oral sex.

The advertisements that ran on about 200 buses across the city in recent months carried posters displaying a suggestively posed woman in hot pants kneeling among a pile of books beside the snappy slogan "Read Books, Get Brain."
What unhip, unsuspecting local transportation officials did not know was that "get brain" is street slang for oral sex.
The ads -- from hip-hop clothing maker Akademiks, which intended the double-entendre -- was stripped off New York buses on Friday after transportation officials discovered the street slang meaning.
Metropolitan Transit Authority spokesman Tom Kelly condemned the "vulgar street phrases" in the racy ads he said were "demeaning women."
"To me and I believe to everyone else, while it was done by a clothing line, it would give the impression that it was also promoting reading and literacy," Kelly told Reuters.
"It's easy enough to understand how that would get by based upon someone not knowing the expression."
A spokesman for the New York-based clothing maker noted the ad campaign had run since September and "we hadn't had any complaints at all."
New York officials may not be the only ones caught out.
Akademiks also placed the ads on buses and bus shelters in Miami, Chicago, Los Angeles, Detroit, San Francisco and Philadelphia, the company spokesman said.
Kelly, who said he was his 60s, said that after he was tipped to the hidden meaning of the phrase on Thursday he ran a test among some young MTA workers.
"I went downstairs to the mailroom and showed some of the young guys a copy of the ad," he said. "I was watching their faces and they all start smirking.
"Apparently it's on all the music, in music that's how they refer to it," Kelly said. "I didn't know anything about it and I'm sure the people that approved the ad didn't."
Kelly said it was sad that "you can't take things at face value any longer," adding, "We'll have to learn from experience before we accept ads."

Animated GIF - HA!

Animated GIF posting, at your service. Its the same as any image, just type the TAG in HTML mode.

In other words: you type an opening carat: <
Then you type this: img src = "www.gif.com"
and then you type this: />

The image needs to be already online for this method to work, I don't know if Hello likes GIFs or not.

Come on guys!

Whitey started it, Whitey will end it!

OK, guys, Cragstan the non-partisan crap shooting monkey is going to send a Cleveland Steamer to anyone who doesn't post a funny and/or disturbing picture in the next 24 hours.

Going down in flames!!!

A Nation Divided?

Alright....I'm sure to get some wrathful reaction because of this. I saw this on another blog and decided to steal the idea. Also I promise, no more gloating after this one. Cross my heart.

Get down wit da B-town

Hip young Republicans celebrate "Daddy Bush" victory


Alright, alright...I know there's probably a rule against posting the same picture twice, but it's just for humor. But even if it is true that you younguns out there who stand on the right side of the fence(and only sometimes bat for the other team, if you know what I mean) are not always the coolest cats on the block, you are nonetheless to be applauded for your devotion to your causes. Your hearts are usually in the right place, even if your heads often are not(think goatse) and for that, I applaud you even as my liberal friends and I lament your odd fascination with guns and hunting. So I say congratulations, and well done! See you again in 2008!

No More!

We shan't be seeing any more of this thanks to Republican domination. Yeah, ban them gay unions! (spoken like a true redneck).

Freedom stands tall!

Well guys, it looks like the Dems got crushed last night, in spite of exit polls and Dan Rather almost crying on National TV. America has weathered one of the ugliest political storms in history and come out standing strong. At least Kerry is going to go out with dignity. I hope Martin Sheen, Michael Moore and all those other liberal windbags are choking on it right now.

Mustn't...gloat....

Just another night at Kevin's...

I believe John will remember this night...