For the Honor!

I don't think we've had a proper tale of dook on the new horadrim, so I found a jolly good one about a vast dump gone wrong.

The Very Stinky Poop Against the Humble Clock
by Harry

I love poop humour, i visit www.ratemypoo.com and i am a full memeber and have left many images on their website. One day i was lying in bed, and i thought, why not record a sound wave of me pooping, my microphone didnt work on my certain comp, and i couldnt find my talkboy, so i used my record your own alarm alarm clock!!! I did it one day and i worked really well, you heard the toilet seat banging, me being seated, the crackle the sqeulch and finally the plop. I recorded it on a mic on ANOTHER computer. The day after i had eaten a LOT and brewed up a nice beast, i can tell you, so i seated, pressed record, and started pushing, BUT OH NO THE CLOCK WAS TO CLOSE UNDER MY ARSE! iI heard a bang, a big plop and my arm being weighted down, i feared the worst, cfinished wiped, etc. I wiped the clock clean and it still smelled putrid, so i took the front apart, wiped it all round, used baby wipes etc, put it back together, sniffed it, felt sick, so i sprayed aftershave on. Didnt work. It smelled like babies nappies (diapers). So in the morning i found this fabric spray we have in England called © Febreze, i sparyed it all over and left it. I smelled it in the morning, it smeled fresh. I then came back from school and it smelled like babies nappies, topped with aftershave and Febreze. I sparyed it ALL over and checked it the next day. It still smelled but you had to really inhale to get full aroma, i dont think any1 would notice. Just ask me if you want both recorded poos sent i and i will happily send them.

New Blog: The Horadric Review

Hey, just to let everyone know, I made a blog called The Horadric Review. Basically itsjust a placeto praiseor bitch about entertainment, from movies to music, books to arcades.

Here is the link

http://horadricreviews.blogspot.com/

MIAMI VICE

Just wanted to know if anyone who saw Miami Vice was aslet down by it as I was. It could have been awesome, and had its moments, but it was so damn slow. While I am gladI saw it, itwould have been better to wait and let someone rentor buy it and borrow it and watch it for free just once. Probably while playing COH to pass all the time spent doing nothing.

ESPN-Eww

I feel compelled to recount something horrifying I saw today on ESPN-2. While doing my morning channel surfing, I saw this show about some hot chick in Africa. The premise: hunting a lion. Now in order to find a lion, they have to bait it somehow. And what do they decide to use as bait? Why a rancid, rotting hippo carcass of course!

The hippo corpse itself, didn't look too bad; just like a sleeping hippo. But the hot chick and her group of locals decide they must hoist part of the carcass in a high tree in order to make it difficult for the lion.

So in uncensored, graphic detail, it cuts to a shot of a severed hippo leg hanging from a rope in a tree. (Keep in mind this is on a Sunday morning).

But that's not even the best part. The hunting party must create a scent to attract the lion. So it immediately cuts to another shot of a local digging his hands deep into the hippo's intestines, pulling out a heaping pile of hippo shit...with his bare hands. He then proceeds to mash the shit into the tree holding the severed leg in order to "spread the scent." Then you saw them dragging hippo guts across the ground to make a scent trail, but nothing compared to the man holding a pile of mashed feces as big as his head...with his bare hands.

I finally turned the channel when the attractive female hostess mentioned the amount of flies around the bait area. The camera, of course, immediately cut to a close up hundreds, perhaps thousands, of sickening flies all over the severed leg.

I don't really have a conclusion here, except that that was some sick shit. I guess it's proof ESPN has absolutely nothing when football and basketball are in their off-seasons.

Two Things

1.) We need to get COH/V to instantiate new zones: Iraq and Lebanon. The terrain, vehicles, and people need to update live with the actual events in those locales. Then we, as heroes or villains can impact the war either way. Wouldn't this make all of this more fun?

2.) Number Four, if you go to Iraq, you need to blog about it. In fact, you need to blog about the army anyway. We all want the inside scoop.

My Eyes! The goggles, they do nothing!

John, why in the hell did you post a link in an old post to tub girl, I clicked that link John. What the heck were you thinking.

Michael Moore’s a Dumbass

While bored at work and glossing over the TWM’s blog to see what hilarious conservative bashing was going on, I found they had links to several liberal-themed websites, one of them being Michael Moore’s.

He has a section called “Factual Backup” for Fahrenheit 911 (a movie I never saw) where he supports his claims with “facts.” Anyway, here is an example of some of them, and my refute follows each one. There’s a helluva lot more of this stuff on the website.

“Fox was the first network to call Florida for Bush. Before that, some other networks had called Florida for Gore, and they changed after Fox called it for Bush.”

First of all, who cares what network said Bush won Florida or not. How is that relevant to anything? The state had a recount, and Bush edged out the victory. How do the news networks have a bearing on Florida’s recount? Plus, how the hell does any of this have anything to do with 911? All this proves is that Mr. Moore is a dumbshit.

“The man who was in charge of the decision desk at FOX on election night was Bush’s first cousin, John Ellis.”

Again, how is this relevant? So what if Bush’s cousin might have pulled some strings to say Bush was the winner of Florida. This has no bearing on the recount in Florida, and absolutely nothing to do with 911. I feel this is factual evidence that Mr. Moore is a retard.

“On the day George W. Bush was inaugurated, tens of thousands of Americans poured into the streets of D.C. They pelted Bush’s limo with eggs.”

Okay. So what? Anyone could see half the country would be upset because Gore lost. Earth to Michael “Dumbfuck” Moore: After any election in any country, many people are upset if their candidate loses. In addition, this has no relevance whatsoever to 911. Perhaps Mr. Moore was upset because he wasn’t able to eat those eggs.

“On Sept. 10, 2001 , Bush joined his brother in Florida where he slept the night in ‘a bed made of fine French linens.’”

Okay, this is just getting absurd. I don’t know whether Mr. Moore is upset about Bush being in Florida the night before 911, or the fact that Bush slept on a “bed made of fine French linens.” I think Mr. Moore is jealous because he sleeps on a bed made of discarded food bits left over from stuffing his fat face.

“Nearly seven minutes passed with nobody doing anything [after the second plane crashed into the WTC].”

Oh my God! SEVEN WHOLE MINUTES passed! I’m glad someone there had a stopwatch to monitor the EXACT time when Bush made his decision. Gosh, you would think seven entire minutes could have stopped all terrorism forever. God forbid Bush weighing his options before taking decisive action. Sometimes it takes seven minutes just to wipe my own ass.

In conclusion, I think Michael Moore is about as smart as a deaf, mute, blind hippo with brain damage.

Death-ics

What is it about death that separates the left and the right? Issues like war and the death penalty, for example, are quite divisive. I've come to the early conclusion that the primary, and most general, difference between them is a belief in obejective right and wrong larger than individuals which the left denies and the right defends. Allow me to explain:

War
Why is it that the liberals threw a fit after 9/11, claiming that Bush was at fault for not preventing the attack only to throw another fit when Bush took action to prevent further attacks? Granted they hate Bush no matter what he does, they generally claim that he was wrong in invading Iraq, not because of WMD's but because it involved killing "innocent people".

If the liberals are right that the only legitimate value system is utilitarian relativism and a person's individual rights, especially their physical rights like life, are the only way to determine what is "right" or "wrong" then it would seem that any action robbing even one person of their individual sacred rights would be the highest "wrong". I've already treated the nonsense of utilitarian ethical relativism previously so I won't dwell on it here. If the conservatives are right, however, then there exists a system of ethics that holds authority over all people with "right" and "wrong" being objective principles that must be upheld far above any one individual's desires or "rights". It's not that conservatives don't value life; quite the contrary in fact, just look at their stance on abortion. "Thou shalt not kill" is fundamental, but even a cursory read of one Old Testament narrative shows that killing is very "right" in certain circumstances: namely war and the death penalty.

Applying this to current events like the Isreali-Lebanon conflict, we find the same dichotomy. The right is generally supporting the war and the left is lamenting the loss of "innocent life". Why do conservatives support the war? I recently heard a great line in an old movie about WWII and the bombing of Hiroshima. A man told his wife that he felt horrible about killing but that it would be an ever greater wrong to let the enemies get away with what they're doing. That's exactly it! No sane person, right or left, wants to kill for the sake of killing but there are circumstances when killing is the right thing to do. Is it bad that Lebanese civilians are being hurt and killed? Yes, but it would be worse to let Hezbollah get away with terrorism. Not because of logistics, or money, or national borders, but because it is right to stand up and fight against such an enemy and it is wrong to leave them alone.

This is about ethics. Was it right for America to join the fight against Hitler and his Nazi regime? Yes, it was. Was it right for America to bomb Japan? Yes, it was. Not because America simply had the power, but because the universal standard of right declared us just to destroy such evil in the world. The same applies to Iraq, Hezbollah, and any other evil regime.

The difference, then, between right and left is that the right is willing to stand up and fight for justice, counting the cost but obeying a higher call. The left is unwilling to stand up for justice because of the cost. It's like another line I heard in a movie: "nothing is worth your life". Maybe for a relativist that's true, but I'm proud to claim that there are many things worth "your life" and justice is certainly one of them.

Horseshit

Sorry about the title of this post, but that's exactly how I feel about Exxon/Mobile's 2nd quarter profit earning. It wasn't as much as their last quarter, but it was close to beating the record. Is it a mere coincidence Big Oil is reaping big profits while gas prices are at an all time high? Gotta be price gouging.

Hell, we have Iraq why not take a little oil for our trouble?

Irving Crime Reports

While reviewing some recent editions of the Irving Rambler newspaper, I ran across some interesting crime reports that I thought I'd share. Enjoy....

Aggravated Assault (D/V): 07-08-06 at 4:45 p.m. Officers were sent to Lexington
St. on a shooting. Upon arrival they contacted a 27 year old male who said
that his father shot him with a shotgun loaded with salt at about 9:40 a.m.
The son had been sleeping late too often and the father was tired of his son
not getting up so he loaded a shotgun with salt and shot the complainant.
The complainant went across the street and went back to sleep, and then
called the police when he was ready to go home and get some things from the
house. On a consent search the father was found to be in possession of a
prohibited weapon (sawed-off shotgun) and he was charged with that as well.

Are they sure that wasn't Cove Hollow, not Lexington St.?! Kevin must have finally sent Buddy over the edge.

Assist officer/Taser use: 07-17-06 at 2:19 a.m. Officers were sent to Francine
on the report that an unknown male had forced his way into the residence.
Officers arrived and discovered that the son of the homeowner was in the house
and out of control due to suspected drug use. The taser was deployed and the
suspect was tased at least three times before he was secured. No officers were
injured and the suspect received minor injuries. He was taken to PMH for a
mental health warrant.

Tased and confused.

NW is not alone

Alleged Library Foot Kisser Indicted
By Associated Press
1 hour ago

YOUNGSTOWN, Ohio - A grand jury has accused a man of sucking on a woman's toe at the public library in nearby Boardman after he asked to kiss her feet to see her reaction as part of a sociology project.

A Mahoning County grand jury has charged Joseph Colella, 28, of suburban Poland Township, on a charge of gross sexual imposition. If convicted, he could be face up to 1 1/2 years in prison and a $5,000 fine.

A 27-year-old woman told police that on July 11 Colella asked to kiss her feet. She turned him down but said she relented when he repeatedly insisted, and he began kissing her foot and then sucked on a toe.

She pulled her foot away and the man asked her reaction, to which she replied she was freaked out.

The woman left to clean her foot and he was gone when she returned. She called police and picked him out of a photo lineup.

Detective Michelle DiMartino said Colella also was a suspect in a similar case in 2000.

Colella could not be reached for comment. A message seeking comment was left Tuesday at his home.

Souls on Ice - Repost from Creationist Books

Sunday morning, I read this article by Liza Mundy in the Dallas Morning News. The article is about a growing surplus of frozen embryos left over from In Vitro Fertilization treatment. According to the article, there are probably around 500,000 frozen embryos being stored; most of them belong to families who do not know what to do with them.

The amazing thing about this article is that it shows that even people who support abortion and stem cell research can not view their own embryos as mere clumps of cells and tissue. Mundy states:

This embryo glut is forcing many people to reconsider whatever they thought they thought about issues such as life and death and choice and reproductive freedom.

The problem goes something like this. A couple gets IVF treatment to conceive. The clinic where they receive treatment gathers multiple embryos (well over a dozen probably) in order to attempt implantation. After treatment, the remaining embryos are stored in a frozen state. Only the parents can make the call to kill the embryos or to continue storage.

I actually know someone who is going through this exact issue. He confided in me that he and his wife view their frozen embryos as siblings to their born child and they keep putting off a decision on what to do with them. They just keep sending money to keep them frozen. He told me, "every year we get that letter about continuing storage or destroying the embryos. We never talk about it until we get that letter, and each time we put it off for one more year." He told me that his reasons are not religious, but he still doesn't feel right about destroying them.

Most of the couples with these embryos feel the only solution is to donate them to another family.

As with ultrasound technology - which permits parents to visualize a fetus in utero - IVF allows many patients to form an emotional attachment to a form of human life that is very early, it's true, but still life, and still human. People bond with photos of three-day-old, eight-cell embryos. They ardently wish for them to grow into children. The experience can be transforming.

Dr. Nachtigall, who conducted studies into this issue of what to do with leftover embryos, found:

Parents variously conceptualize frozen embryos as biological tissue, living entities, 'virtual' children have interests that must be considered and protected, siblings of their living children, genetic or psychological 'insurance policies,' and symbolic reminders of their past infertility.

He notes that many parents think of these embryos as not merely tissue, but also as children.

The difference between a person who willingly aborts their own child(ren) and who intentionally seeks fertility treatment through IVF is obviously the lack or presence of desire to have a child. This issue nicely stradles the usual pro-life and pro-choice camps, however, because people from both sides seek IVF treatment. It is encouraging to me that people, even pro-choice people, have a hard time looking at their own embryos and coldly stating that they're just cells and tissue.

It might be easy for a person to look at a stem cell lab, full of embryos with no apparent siblings, parents, loved ones, or even a future of their own and see nothing wrong with harvesting the cells and tissue in the name of science and health, but it is a completely different issue when the cells become personal.

Clearly the factor on deciding whether or not an embryo is a living person or not does not rest solely on feelings of attachment, but those feelings are a step in the right direction and parental love and attachment is surely part of the equation. It is clear that an embryo, given implantation and a normal pregnancy, will be born as a living human person. Parents can bond with this baby, this living person, from the moment of conception and this issue just further demonstrates that. A single cell is no less alive than an adult human, it is simply earlier in development.

We don't consider infants any less alive than adults, even premature infants. Infants have a lot of developing to do, however, and many of their ogans are immature and they can not survive on their own. The line is so blurry that I say it doesn't exist. A human is a human, one cell or many cells. The only reason our society kicks and screams in admitting that is complete detachment from the reality of the situation and the disgusting desire for the right to slaughter children that we don't want or would rather harvest to cure other living humans.

Best Milk Ever?

Well, we all know that Amazon finally wised up and deleted THE BEST PRODUCT LISTING ever, but it looks like intrepid pranksters have decided to take up the cause by posting disturbing reviews for innocent products. Now, it looks like this product has been made unavailable due to the undoubtedly nonsensical questions and requests the poor confused seller was getting, so see the comments while you have the chance!

what THEY didn't want you to know.

August 15, 2002

Pentagon Memo
Invasion Plan for Iraq Not Involving Edible Panties #1472
Title: How to Safely Invade Iraq
Status - Classified [i.e. only The New York Times is allowed access to it]


The main theory behind Invasion Plan for Iraq Not Involving Edible Panties #1472 is that the extensive usage of Gummi products in lieu of aerial assaults and the introduction of an eventual ground force would have a far greater chance of overall success.

Gummi forces first came to military prominence playing a limited yet integral behind the scenes role in Operation Desert Storm. At present, it is government policy not to officially acknowledge or deny their involvement in this war.

Gummies are very focused and come from a fine line of squishy Nabisco products. Currently, we believe that the initial invasion force would most likely consist of an assortment of Gummi Bears and Pandas. Gummi Worms would subsequently parachute in to secure the perimeter.

An invasion of Gummi Bears, conducted by special gelatinous forces, would not only spare the lives of American soldiers, but allow for the safe containment of opposition troops and resisting forces as well, harmlessly surrounding them with delicious Gummi products who would simply bounce them into confusion and unconsciousness. The unexpected nature of the threat and surprise attack will offer U.S. gelatinous forces the element of surprise.

The relay of orders to the Gummi legions will be facilitated by the insertion of little microchips into their tiny butts. They will also be dressed in fashionable sugar tuxedos.

The resiliency of Gummi products will also lend itself to our purposes. It is already well known that upon planning the assassination of a Gummi bear, one must fully prepare themselves for the likely eventuality that they may not survive. It is important to aim for the neck, bellybutton, butt, or certain other vital areas, and attempt nothing less than a “kill” shot. This has been well documented in Iraqi military manuals.

Gummi bears are virtually impervious to pain and immune from all forms of known torture including, but not limited to, twisting, squishing, licking, pulling, bending, poking, burial, and opera. When introduced to extreme heat, they enlarge to ten times their standard size at room temperature, enraged and prepared to wreak mushy havoc. This could work in our favor considering the desert climate of Iraq.

Also, we cannot discount the sheer degree of terror to be inspired by an army of bouncing Gummies, madly romping toward the dictator of Iraq’s quivering face.

Additionally, more recent flavors of Gummies have been trained to locate and disarm weapons of mass destruction (country grape for biological, strawberry-watermelon for most chemical, lemon for Sarin, isopropyl methylphosphonofluoridate {Sarin, GB: CH3-P(=O)(-F)(-OCH(CH33)2)}, and lime for nuclear). Giant Gummi Bears (i.e. Heated Gummies) will be required to operate Geiger counters while Gummy Pandas are currently preparing to launch surgical strikes directed at known weapons facilities.

Gummi Bears and Pandas would first be deployed in Baghdad, surrounding various palaces, locating bunkers, gathering intelligence on the ground, and gaining control of weapons depots. With the element of surprise in our favor, they will take up initial positioning on the high ground and inside palace toilets.

Also of interest to note, Gummi products have been trained in various diplomatic capacities, fully capable of erecting and maintaining an interim government of related gelatin products should such a procedure prove necessary (most probably one based upon rudimentary parliamentary government practices). Again, the U.S. should likely play some part in the establishment of an interim government following the subsequent gooey smothering of Iraq’s current leadership.

As we speak, Nabisco is currently entertaining such possibilities with opposition forces within Iraq. We intend to run a copy of this invasion proposal by The New York Times and possibly Entertainment Weekly in order to get their seasoned military feedback. The success of this venture will prove nothing short of delicious.

I Have a Secret

While bored and looking at Technorati, I was curious what the most popular blogs were. Apparently, #5 is a blog called PostSecret. It's a rather bizarre concept where people create an anonymous postcard, revealing a secret they have never told anyone, and mail it to the blog author to scan and post on the blog. Anyway, there is some weird schiesse on this blog, but I think I found the two best ones:

This one is funny for obvious reasons:



The next one I thought was hysterical. It's basically a snapshot of my sense of humor. It works on so many different levels such as: Why would anyone have such hatred of Dan Marino? He never got into any trouble with drugs or bitched about his contract like other professional athletes. Heck, he never won a Superbowl, so even a fan of a rival team couldn't be angry. Plus, what kind of person would keep this secret?

Technically, today is Horadrim's two year anniversary

That's right, our first post was on July 21, 2004! Did you know that TWM also started that same day? That's right, Xanthippas created it the same day; probably inspired by the Horadrim itself.

In all this time, I wonder which blog has stirred up more controversy.

Regardless, I wanted to officially state our anniversary date. Carry on!

Liberal Internet Conspiracy?

I recently registered this blog, and Creationist Books, on Technorati and Google. Technorati is a blog search engine with a lot of special features. You can view a list of all the other blogs or websites that link to a particular blog, including your own, and you can even view graphical statistics like the number of posts per day over a period of time. There are a large number of goodies like this. You can click the name of this post to see the Horadrim's links and stats.

Anyway, Technorati nicely indexed Horadrim and Creationist Books like it should. Coincidentally, however, the only post it did not index was my post about President Bush and stem-cell research! So if anyone sees this post from Technorati, look two posts down for Bush and stem cell research! The liberals can't silence me forever!...

The PC Handshake

I didn't want to hijack John's last thread, but it reminded me of a really bizarre dream I once had. The dream started out with my mom calling me because some militant lesbian feminists were holding loud meetings in her backyard, and she wanted me to come help her get rid of them, not so much because of the trespassing as the fact that the neighbors would think she was also a militant lesbian. So I drove on down there just as the group was packing back up into their cars. I went over and introduced myself to them, offering my hand as is customary for such introductions. The leader of the lesbians shook my hand, but dug her thumbnail into my thumb, drawing blood. I asked her why the heck she did that and she responded "my hand got scared, so it bit you." She then elaborated that the standard handshake is an instrument of male dominance, and the thumb commits a penetrative, symbolic "rape" when it crosses over onto the other person's hand. She then informed me that the correct way to shake politically correct hands was to keep the thumb directly over the rest of the hand and just rub palms together.
Unfortunately, that's all I remember of the dream.

Proud to be Republican

"This bill would support the taking of innocent human life in the hope of finding medical benefits for others," Bush said in announcing his veto. "It crosses a moral boundary that our decent society needs to respect."

I am immensely proud of our president today. George Bush stood up for life and for the rights of the unborn. I was proud of him when he responded to terror, I was proud of him when he defended the sanctity of heterosexual marriage, and I am just as proud now as he vetoes this stem-cell bill.

No matter what anyone feels about this, we all started out as embryos. I'm thankful that I wasn't slaughtered for stem-cells. I'm thankful that my wife, my family, and my friends weren't slaughtered in this way either. I am also thankful that I can protect my unborn child from being exploited and murdered in this way.

Even though the future will probably see darker days, I thank the Lord that Bush has pushed back those days for another while. Good job, President Bush, thanks for doing your job and standing up for what is right.

The Drunken Man

This morning, I was encouraged via e-mail to take the "3-dimensional humor test" at OKCupid.com. I did--the test eventually got to a question related to how much you laughed at this picture (a lot, only on the inside, not at all). I think a good follow-up question for the end of the test would have been "are you still laughing about that drunken man," because I was still laughing several hours later at work.

Kou, are we doing anything for your birthday?

Make Money w/ Slim Jim

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B000CQE3IC/ref=nosim/103-0462955-1330257?n=16310101

List Price: $18.79

Amazon Price: $14.49 & eligible for FREE Super Saver Shipping on orders over $25.

You Save: $4.30 (23%)

Add four to your cart, then use coupon code GROCERY2 at checkout to get $10 off.

400 Slim Jims = $0.25 x 400 = $100

Buy this and resell them for the price listed on the box to make some quick $$$.

The "Original" TNG Cast

I just learned that this was the original cast of TNG, but after some screen tests, they decided to cut one of the cast members before shooting the pilot. A damn shame. Can you guess who it is? I wonder what his position/duty would have been on the Enterprise?

End Republicans Forever?

I found this gem on a Los Angeles Craigslist. I thought it pretty freakin' hilarious. Click on the title of this post to see. If any of the TWM still read this blog, I think I just discovered their dream job.

It pays pretty decent for a summer internship, actually.*

*Please pardon the Jasonism.

Congress and the Constitution

I'm holding here a copy of the U.S. Constitution. As most Americans are aware, the first ammendment begins like this:

Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof...

Now, here is my question. This legal statement clearly indicates that Congress shall not establish a religion or prohibit its free exercise. Doesn't this indicate that this only applies on a Federal, national, level?

For example: the somewhat recent battle of a Ten Commandments statue in front of a state office, what does Congress have to do with that? Is this not out of their domain? Ten Commandments in front of the Capitol Building, alright that's their domain, but ten commandments in front of a state office?

If Irving decided to publish "Irving: A City of Budhists" on all its official memos, I don't see how that makes Congress the one establishing anything; and since Congress has nothing to do with that how can they claim that the constitution prohibits such action?

This is a serious question, I'm not being facetious here. If Congress itself did not establish something, how does the First Ammendment apply?

This also goes for the other details of the ammendment like free speech and such. After reading the rest of the bill of rights, however, I notice that none of the other ammendments start with "Congress shall...". They simply talk about what is a protected right and what is not regardless of whether federal, state, city, or other jurisdiction applies. It therefore seems that the First Ammendment, in particular, is quite limited in its scope.

So my question still stands. Since the First Ammendment seems to only apply to Congress, why do its consequences trickle downward into all other areas of smaller government?

I'm not discussing whether establishing a religion, or limiting speech is right or wrong. I am only asking about the explicit declaractions of our Constitution. So, keeping that in mind, what do you think about this? How would you interpret the First Ammendment as written?

Indian head movements

Have you ever noticed how Indian people move their heads differently while they speak? Most of them move their heads from side to side and tilt their head simultaneously. This may not be a good description, but I usually find it so distracting that I can't give them the whole library card explanation without laughing to myself and pausing to gather my composure.

Oh, the woes...

You know, most PC issues fall nicely into one of two groups: software and hardware. The software issues can be more complicated, but are generally always fixable. The hardware issues, however, are the real #%*&@.

I think that Kou can relate with me when I say that RAM is perhaps the most troublesome of the hardware problems. I seem to recall him browsing many a late-night forum in search of that distant solution.

Let me tell you a little story of my old PC. First of all, it is dated now so not only is its speed sub-par comparatively but its RAM style has gone the way of the dinosaur in relation to mainstream desktop hardware. In other words it has RAMBUS whereas more modern PC's use some form of DDR. This not only makes RAM problems harder to diagnose since it is less common, but it also makes it harder to replace since the hardware is in shorter supply and thus more expensive.

My old PC, a sturdy and faithful machine, had 1 GB of PC800 RAMBUS dwelling inside it. Half of that is fine, the other half is not. I was greeted by many a Blue Screen of Death before I finally tried ripping out half of my RAM and replacing it with the "Dummy RIMMs" necessary to keep the motherboard happy. (Which also involved at least two trips to my mom's house to pick up my old hardware).

At this point I remembered that this RAM, Corsair brand, is under a lifetime warranty! So I look up Corsair's policy on forums (of course, right Kou?) and post (on another forum) my problem to get help. I then have to run this special app called Memtest86 to find the issue. I have tested my good RAM, I will test my "bad" RAM later to find out if it really is bad RAM.

If the RAM is bad, I'll get free replacements (or RMA as they say). I'm keeping my fingers crossed because I need that last 512 to play Villains with even a decent performance rating!

Happy Birthday Captain Picard!

That's right. Patrick Stewart turns 66 today. I wonder if Michael Dorn will jump out of a birthday cake for the occasion.

Happy B'day, Jean Luck Pikkerd!

Huh, ironically Han Solo (Harrison Ford) also has a birthday today. He's 64?! I really didn't think Picard was only two years older than Ford.

But we must all remember the undeniable fact: Captain Picard is smarter than you are.

A happy little biggles

It took cbiggie over three hours to do the cash report, if you can believe it. The main problem was that a certain staff member rang her ID number in as a fee amount for the third week in a row. He looks like he's about ready to bust a rage nut all over some volunteers, and not even the "sexy" stewardesses in the May 1980 Playboy that's in the recycle bin now can calm him down.

How to do the Three Bears with two hands

From where I am currently sitting, I can cleary see this title on a book prominently displayed.

What could it be talkig about? I'll leave it up to the rest of you to think of the best subtitle for this book.

Election fraud in 2004?

In the linked post above, it is mentioned that a Rolling Stone article claims that Ohio fell victim to voter fraud. It states that various exit polls predicted a different outcome than the official votes actually indicated. Like any natural form of denial, the idea goes like this:

We KNOW that Kerry really had the votes to win. Since the exit polls showed this and the actual votes did not, the actual votes must be flawed!

Of course! The real votes mean nothing, only the exit polls are significant. Riiiiiiight.

I think we have all seen enough disparity among every manner of election polls to know that it is practically a bogus excercise in prediction.

This is almost as ridiculous as my earlier post on dinosaur flesh. Certain scientists *knew* so strongly that their specimen was 65 million years old that they would rather cast doubt on the decay of flesh than on their sacred theory of ages.

I'm certain that all of us engage in this sort of mental gymnastics from time to time without knowing it. Even still, it is utterly ridiculous.

Two Year Celebration

Ok, Horadrim, it's been two years since this blog began. To commemorate this, as an idea of cbiggie, we should all (at least those who want to participate) re-post our favorite Horadrim post from the past two years.

You don't need to simply copy the old post, though you can copy any images; you can just bring up the post and rehash it.

I'll start us off with an golden oldie. Click the title of this post to read all the great commments.

Freedom stands tall!

Well guys, it looks like the Dems got crushed last night, in spite of exit polls and Dan Rather almost crying on National TV. America has weathered one of the ugliest political storms in history and come out standing strong. At least Kerry is going to go out with dignity. I hope Martin Sheen, Michael Moore and all those other liberal windbags are choking on it right now.

I got a F3VA!

Ummmm....

Just wanted to show off my hero

Come on Feels and Biggles, you can be cool like us!

No Comment

I believe this was requested

Oooh....I want one of those!

One of my job duties is to make sure the volunteers are working on something. It doens't always matter what, as long as they aren't getting on the staff's nerves. I have one teen guy in here today that was wanting something to do. We get a good bit of magazine donations here so i decided he could cut the mailing labels off. He said he would give it a go and off he went. He came and found me about 5 minutes later. Thinking he had a question i asked what was up. He said "You guys have a wide variety of stuff. Are these really all for sale?". I told him they were and asked which one he was interested in. He said "The Playboy one that's back there."

I called for backup to watch the desk so that i could take care of that magazine situation. Sure enough, someone was kind enough to donate Playboy magazines to thier local library. I told him those were not for sale and that even if it was he wan't old enough to legally purchase it, used or new.

It was then time for him to do something else...straighten the stacks perhaps. In fear of him winding up in the Adult Fiction section, more specificly the Zane section, i asked him to go clean up the Easy Picture Book section.

Problem Solved.

Continue On.

The "Lair"

Per Feels's request, here are some snapshots of my COH/V lair in all its glory:

The Linkmobile

You aren't a true Zelda fan until you're rollin down the street in the overworld!

A Simple Request

Seamus, I am dying to see your new "City of Heroes/Villains" lair. Could you post a picture?

7-11 to give away free slurpees on 7-11

I heard on the radio today that because of today's date, 7-Eleven is giving out free slurpees today! Get 'em while they're hot... er... I mean... cold....

How cool is your Library?

The Valley Ranch Library is so cool that we actually have people camping out in line each day before we open. That's right. Folding chair and all.

Oh yeah.

THE TERROR!

Cowboy Morpheus

Apparently, Pee Wee's Playhouse comes on late at night on Cartoon Network. I had forgotten that Laurence Fishburne plays Cowboy Curtis as shown in the picture.

Plus, I think you have to be high as a kite to understand this show. It's downright frightening at times.

Scary Hairy Bears

As some of you will recall, The SARS and I went to Disney World for our honeymoon. The highlight of the trip for me (as far as public embarrassment and comedy goes) was definitely an incident at the Country Bear Jamboree. As with most Disney "theater" attractions, you file in from one side, pick a row, and scoot down as far as you can go. We were about six rows back and seated when a great commotion arose in the second row. A lady was becoming irate about being asked to scoot down and "lose her good seat in the middle" (you must bear[no pun intended] in mind that this is A SHOW TO WATCH 30 YEAR OLD ANIMATRONIC BEARS SINGING and the equivalent of fighting over a Chuck-E-Cheese table right up by the stage). The lady was asked again to move down and unilaterally decided that she should haul her considerable bulk over the bench and sit down in the front row, which was pretty full. She was warned that she had moved into the handicapped row and could not sit there; however, several people had continued to file in and she was able to return to her row and take her seat. At this point I couldn't hear her, because a huge animatronic moose had begun to bellow loudly, but the cast member exclaimed "that's it, I'm calling a manager" a few seconds later. Much to my dismay, another cast member dressed like Tom Sawyer convinced her that a call to the manager was unnecessary at that point, and the prediction that the manager is a gigantic Mickey Mouse that drags you out remains unconfirmed. Oh well-- there's always next time!

We built this "City"...

I was finally goaded into reactivating my City of Heroes account, and I also purchased City of Villains. So now Cendocordum is roaming the streets of Paragon City, and Teknon (and possibly Deutrium) is roaming the streets of *whatever the streets are in the Villain world, some island or something*.

That's right Feels and C, if you want to keep up you need to rejoin! Maybe we can even get J to get back in...

Ethical Relativism: Enlightened or Benighted?

For those of you who care to think about such things, click on the title of this post to read my latest discussion of this topic. This comes as the last round (from my perspective) of a long discussion that I've had with Nat-Wu.

I guess this is also an opportunity for me to introduce you to my other blog, Creationist Books. A blog where I post book reviews and discussions about creationism and intelligent design.

Rumors of Death Exaggerated

Sorry, I had some problems and had to start fresh with a new secret identity. Anyway, let's get this joint rockin again, like those "please come back to New Orleans, we promise the looting is over" commercials say.

Fresh Start

The last post by Seamus was music to my ears. Horadrim, for a short while, took a turn for the worse.

To the fresh start i say Glückwünsche. Schaukeln Sie an mit Ihrem schlechten Selbst, Seamus.

Hear ye, Hear ye

After a Horadric discussion and council decision, it has been determined that the Horadrim Blog will be undergoing some changes. This blog originally served as a platform for substantial humor and as such served its function well. It has recently fallen upon harder times, however, and no longer serves the function for which it was designed.

The Horadrim Blog exists to further the purposes and interests of the actual Horadrim. This ideal has been distorted. Therefore the blog will be starting over and all contributors will be immediately removed except for the Horadrim itself.

Given the dismal state of recent posting and commenting, I doubt this will cause upset. If it does, however, it was not intended.

Hopefully we can look forward to brighter days ahead. If not, the Horadrim Blog will still be an available avenue for the Horadrim to establish its presence online.

Enough

In light of recent events and allegations, I am ceasing all commenting on both TWM and Nathan's Books. This comes mainly as an effort to keep things friendly and to preserve a sense of reciprocal netiquette amongst two very different groups of people.

My latest arguments on these blogs, TWM in particular, became unintentionally offensive. My mistake was in assuming that by attacking a certain viewpoint, the TWM welcomed its zealous and persistent defense by opponents.

Since their blog is more a common location for like-minded discussions from one perspective, I will respect that and limit my commenting to blogs where I am more welcome. I can understand not wanting their blog to be overrun by critical arguments, they can do what they please with their own web space.

I propose a truce.

Hasselhoff Mystery

David Hasselhoff Undergoes Surgery

"LONDON — Former "Baywatch" star David Hasselhoff had surgery after severing a tendon in his right arm in an accident in a London gym bathroom, his spokeswoman said Friday.

The 53-year-old actor, who played lifeguard Mitch Buchannon on the TV beach drama for 11 years, was shaving at a gym in the Sanderson Hotel on Thursday when he hit his head on a chandelier, showering his arm with broken glass, his publicist, Judy Katz, said.

Doctors operated to repair the injury and Hasselhoff spent one night at St. Thomas' Hospital in central London, Katz said.

"He's fine," Katz said by phone from New York. "He's out of the hospital and will resume filming tomorrow."

Hasselhoff is working on an ad campaign for Pipex, a British internet company, she said."

Something tells me they're leaving out a few details of this incident.