Funny Darwin Award

Hey guys, this darwin award is pretty funny.

www.darwinawards.com/stupid

Click on Lawn Chair Larry.

Some things just never change...

So I'm talking to Liz last night on the phone, and she tells me to hold on for a second. I say "alright" and when she comes back she says: "sorry, I had to put some water in my bong."

Also, I had to remove the giant picture of the guy with all the piercings, it really freaked out the blog template so that it put all the links at the bottom instead of the side.

And no the picture below is not part of this post!

The New North Lake Library!

The new face of North Lake Library?  

For those of you who do not already know, the dream that was the North Lake Community Library is coming to an end. Those brave and dedicated IPL employees that toiled, sweated and cried for the dream of a united Academic/Public library will be scattered like ashes to the wind among the various branches of the Irving Public Library system, broken and allotted like slaves at the auction block under the cruel Alabama sun.  Those books which once stood so proudly on our shelves, virtually shouting their vast reservoir of knowledge to our patrons(student and public)will be divvied up like so much pirate treasure booty among the branches of IPL. The children's library, the gleaming jewel in the eye of knowledge that was NLCL, will close, it's lights dimmed forever, no longer able to battle against the ignorance that today runs rampant in the world of the child. Instead what will be left will merely be a shell of its former self, as North Lake college employees take over the many duties they once shared with their comrades-in-arms from IPL, and slave to provide at best 1/2 the service to 1/4 the patrons at 1/8 the level of competence(albeit at 2/3 the price.) Please take a moment to lament the passing of the dream that was NLCL. Alas, poor NLCL, we knew you well...

Blog Updates

I made some adjustments to our blogsite.

1.)  The time-stamp now shows the correct timezone.

2.)  The posts will only cover the last 5 days, you can see the rest under the Archives.

One More Reason for People to Hate Going to the Dentist

Women Say Dentist Made Them Swallow Semen
1 hour, 13 minutes ago
Add Strange News - AP to My Yahoo!
CHARLOTTE, N.C. - Former employees of a dentist claim the man made female patients unwittingly swallow his semen during visits to his office. Dr. John Hall is accused by the state dental board of violating dentistry's standard of care, engaging in immoral conduct, and committing sexual assault or battery.

Six former patients say he tricked them into swallowing his semen. A seventh claims he jumped on top of her in the dental chair and "began to gyrate against her lower body in a sexual manner."
The dental board suspended Hall's license Nov. 5, after police began investigating allegations by two former employees. In February, it conditionally restored his license, barring him from being alone with female patients.
Hall's lawyers say the dentist has been falsely accused by disgruntled former employees. He was collecting his semen because he was taking Propecia, a drug to promote hair growth, and was concerned about potential side effects that include low sperm count and diminished semen, his lawyer, Emerson Thompson, said.
The dental board heard testimony Friday, Saturday and Sunday. The hearing is to continue next weekend.
The five-member panel will decide whether Hall can keep his license. The case is still being investigated by authorities in Charlotte, Cornelius and Mecklenburg County.
Hall's former assistant Cheryl Lynn MacLeod testified Saturday that she found it odd that Hall began asking her to leave a patient's side to retrieve items that he never used.
She also became suspicious when she overheard him tell patients to "swallow" something, and when she saw him take a syringe out of his lab coat pocket while working beside a patient.
In May 2003, she and former office administrator Susie Hillman took the five syringes from office waste containers and Hall's lab coat pockets and gave them to police.
Hall's lawyer, Thompson, suggested the substance Hall asked patients to swallow could have been a dental product.
But in a sworn deposition read aloud Saturday, Hall's former dental assistant Rhonda Hamilton described several dental products used in Hall's office and none matched the patients' descriptions of what was put in their mouths.
When Cornelius police searched Hall's office Nov. 5, they confiscated five more syringes with Hall's semen from his desk, according to the board and hearing testimony.
Five of the six patients testified Friday. The first, a 40-year-old woman, said she objected when Hall began to put a substance from a syringe into her mouth during a procedure on Sept. 4, telling him: "That smells like sperm."
She said Hall drew back and said, "You're crazy." She said she couldn't taste the substance because her mouth was numb.
Another witness, a 33-year-old woman, said Hall asked his assistant to retrieve something from another room during her appointment in May 2003. While the assistant was gone, she said Hall told her to lie back, open her mouth and swallow.
"When I swallowed I tasted it, and it was semen. ... He told me it was cleaning solution." She said she drove directly to her husband's office nearby and told him what happened, but he and a colleague dismissed the idea. She said she tried to convince herself she was wrong, and contacted police only after hearing about the investigation on the news.

The Mighty Princess Bempong

Alright everyone, I have a new library patron to tell you about.

An African woman comes into Northwest from time to time to get books, and her name is Princess Bempong.  Yes that's right, the system has her listed as Princess Bempong (not sure if that's a title or a name, but either way...).  She often comes in with her deaf servant who makes extremely loud, yet indiscernable, noises constantly.  Sometimes grunts and sometimes groans, and sometimes just hollering.  Here is the usual scenario:

Princess Bempong will come up to the counter and will make her servant ask for the books (which of course means just a lot of loud and embarrassing noises).  Since no one can discern this fellow's gestures or sounds, she gets frustrated and signs with him for a minute or two (while he's still grunting and groaning) and then finally writes down what she wants, and makes him hand it to us.  At this point we can usually help them, since what she writes down is an easy enough request.  But what I don't understand is why Princess Bempong doesn't just tell us what she wants...you see I know that she can speak because I've spoken to her on the phone and in person on more than one occassion!

I guess she just wants to make full use of her servant...who knows...

Oh God!

I think he's dead! 

Check out this site, Simulaids, that offers aids for emergency and medial personnel to learn on. There's some truly frightening stuff on there...

The Great Pauline Mystery

Here's a random trivia question for you all.  Does anyone know what "the mystery" is, according to Paul of the New Testament?  He mentions it quite a bit, and expounds on it some each time he does.  Its nothing too tricky, I was just curious if any of you were familiar with it.  Comment away....!

painting

So here's the question at hand:

Do I, or do I not....paint my tuck somewhat similar to this?

Round-Up of Weird-Ass Stories

Celebrating The Horadrim's 50th blog:

"Inter-galactic Traveller" Mystery Woman Safe in Hawaii

Man Found Dead on Hospital Lounge Couch

Accused shooter saw UFOs

Vietnam "ghost" killer gets 11 years in jail

Lightning Strike Energizes Man

Wisconsin man injured while flipping off trains

Researchers study 'Pokemon' seizures

NEWSFLASH: Fat Women Actually Worth Something

Get a load of this article. Guess it kinda proves Italians are really different. Or I guess it means you have to be extraordinarily fat to get your 15 min of fame.

But I finally got a picture posted!

Flickr

This is a test post from , a fancy photo sharing thing.

Drunk at work

http://www.joynk.com/cdg/

I stumbled across this site today in my daily rummaging through the internet.  It's some web designer who gets persistent, weird calls from a drunk man while he's trying to work.  My personal favorite is number 2.

Project Paulownia kawakamii

For those of you who have been to my house, you can probably appreciate the comedy of this post.  You have probably seen the absolutely enormous plant in our backyard and grows freakishly larger every week.  It looks like this:

 




 

 

 
And yes the swingset next to it is naturally dwarfed.  Anyhow I was out in the backyard today and noticed that the top of our freakish plant was covered in seed-pods.  I went and got my brother to show him how much bigger this plant had gotten and he had a brilliant idea.  Here is a problem at our house:  Mowing the "garden" (a plot of land overgrown by a furious variety of thick and persistent weeds).  We have come upon a solution:  taking these seed pots and covertly planting them all throughout the garden so that suddenly it will look like this:




 

 

 
No more grass or weeds = no more mowing.  Won't our mom be surprised when she looks out the back window one day and sees a veritable jungle of asian trees...

There was this guy....

I'd like to tell you something....

There was this guy.  He ate his SHIT!

You see, I have another theory about how humanity can be subdivided, which I came up with in the 11th grade. It involves their reaction to the following statement said in the following way:
"There was this guy (said just a little bit raunchily, but not too much)...(dramatic pause of about a second)...He ate his shit (extend the word "shit" and phrase the sentence in clear iambs.  It helps if you raise your eyes a little as you proceed and allow your voice to become raspy.  The whole process should flow like a gathering storm).  People are guaranteed to react in one way or another. 

Type A: Type A will laugh and always laugh.  Sometimes they will find it funny, other times strange, but always amused.

Type B: Type B reactions will vary greatly, but the test subject will never laugh.  They may look quizzical, vaguely disgusted, annoyed by your profanity, or presumably other, undocumented results. 

I have my theories about what exactly being a type one or a type 2 means--perhaps one type is more able to find humor in a cruel world, better adjusted to hearing descriptions of disturbing behavior, or they themselves have been there.  I encourage you all to test this hypothesis on your loved ones, and guarantee that you will be surprised by how they fall out by type. 

In the Army Now

As most of us know, our good friend Jason Asimikas has gone off to fight for his country. Who knows what crazy adventures he's in store for. Hopefully, he won't get an administrative discharge because of drug abuse like another good friend of ours. Anyway, I was doing some "web surfing," as it's called, and stumbled upon this book that pretty much sums up, I believe, what Jason is going through. Hell, maybe the next volume will include one of Jason's stories.

OOH-RAH!

Kann jemand, dieses zu lesen?

Kann jemand, dieses zu lesen? Gut dachte ich, daß ich versuchen
würde, auf Deutsch bekanntzugeben. Ich schätze, daß dieses ein Test
für Daniel ist. Daniel kann Sie verstehen, was ich sage? Jeder sollte
zum undersand in der LageSEIN: Ja und Scheiße. Ich verwendete
Sherlock, um diesen deutschen Text festzulegen. Ich wundere mich, wie
genau es wirklich ist. John und ich kamen gerade von der
Penthouse-Verein über der Datenbahn von zurück, der ich gehe, fünf
oder sechs Tage ein Woche zu bearbeiten. Wir erhielten dort und sie
schloß in 10 Minuten. John erhielt einen Schoßtanz von einem heißen
Küken, aber ich erhielt nichts. Ausgenommen ich handhatte, Zwanzig
Dollar zu sichern, von denen ich jetzt auf pornographischen
Materialien verwende. Gut ist es spät und ich bin müde. Später.

Oh God!

Alright, this isn't offensive in the same way tubgirl or goatse are, but it's pretty bad.

God loves you

We worship leather!

Hail loincloth! 

This is the cover of my band's only album. I'm obviously the dude with the big mustache. I was in a lot better shape back then.

Don't be alarmed

A little accident 

This is what we do to library traitors.

John and Daniel goofing around.

John and Daniel 

So what the heck were you guys doing here?

Meredithian Logic

For those of you who have encountered Meredith's strange form of reasoning in the past, this will come as no surprise.  And I hope that Nathan can add to this post with his own tales.  For those of you who have never dealt with Meredith, let me give you a little example.  I pick this example only because it is the most recent:

The other night Patricia was discussing with Meredith the idea that we should count people who go through the wrong side of our entrance/exit gate using a stat-clicker.  Meredith then says, "oh yes, and we should add 25 to that count for the Junior Players who come through the back door and never go through our gate."  So Patricia says, "ok we'lll start our daily count at 25", and Meredith then says: "but its easier if we just get someone to walk through the gate 25 times instead of adding it to our count."  ...  ...  ...

So apparently its easier to walk through a gate in a circle 25 times than simply adding 25 to some other number.  Right...

God bless Dr. Cornholeus

Softcore lesbo sex intermingled with scifi parody. 

So last night I watched the last half of "Play-mate of the Apes" on Cinemax, which I had heard about from a friend. Thankfully the porn aspect is all lesbian scenes (female astronauts and slaves getting it on), and no beastiality. However, to put it simply, this film is insane. First of all, they really just used whatever apes costumes they could find as opposed to one uniform costume for all the apes. This includes  a pink ape, whom is gay.  The 'alarm" that goes off at one point is simply a police siren plugged into a wall. The sign pointing to the Forbidden Zone is a computer generated arrow saying "Forbidden Zone." The acting was bad not in the typical porn way, but as if the actors were actually trying to say their lines in the craziest way possible. And, for some reason, at several points in the film the cast of characters suddenly bust a rhyme. But anyway, it certainly got the job done and I recommend it.

I think we lost him!

Man down! 

I shall not say I told you so, only that I didn't vote for I, Robot. However, James wanted to avoid crowds so we didn't go see the Bourne Supremacy at a major theater, we went to see I, Robot at the Movie Tavern in Bedford. Now I didn't think this was a bad idea either, just not what I'd prefer. The ill omens began almost as soon as the four of us (James, Amand, Kristina and myself) left Amanda's apartment. James took us down 121 to get to 183 where there happened to be an inordinate amount of traffic. However, we did manage to get there on time anyway. We purchased our tickets and headed into the theater. Our second warning was that the women's bathroom was closed due to some malfunction. The ladies had to temporarily take over the men's room. Not a severe problem. James and I went to find seating for the five of us (Lavonne had joined us). We spotted what seemed to be the ideal location. Now to give you an idea of the layout, this is one of those movie theaters where the attendants come serve food in the theater and the rows of chairs all have little tables in front of them. So we spot a good location over on the left side of the theater. Being on the right side, we began to walk through the row to get over to the left side. Tragedy! As James put his foot down just after passing the first seat, he slipped. I swear, it was almost like watching an act. First his foot went one way, then his foot went the other way, and after struggling valiantly for as long as a second to maintain his balance, James went down! He fell; his left knee took the brunt of the damage. However, he fell in a most spectacular manner. James tilted slightly to the left and came down hard on a cupholder armrest. I kid you not, the cupholder exploded! I'm serious, I saw shards of plastic flying in the air. James quickly got up, but he was obviously wounded. His left foot was hurting and he had a scrape on his knee. James bravely walked over to our chosen seats, eschewing offers of help and protesting that he was ok. Still, when the manager came he did accept a bag of ice. I should point out that the staff of the theater neither covered the seats sharing the broken armrest nor did they mop the floor. Anyhow, with the apologies of the manager, we did temporarily move past this event. Inexplicably, the manager offered James no compensation for this mishap! Still, we decided to tough it out. We went ahead and ordered. Kristina and I ordered cheese sticks and a pepperoni pizza. Then the previews started rolling. It was the preview for the new Jet Li movie, but without the sound. We waited, as this sometimes happens, but no sound was forthcoming. But wait! We heard some kind of sound, shortly before we saw the Pepsi advertisement come up simultaneously with the preview! It was also playing the music that had been playing before the preview! It took them another preview to get this problem fixed. Finally, when the sound was fixed and the last trailer shown, the movie started rolling. But wait: where's the food? Yes, although the entire rest of the auditorium had been served, we waited. It only took our man another 10 minutes to get there with our order. Of cheese sticks. No pizza ever came our way, although initially we were charged for both. We convinced the server of the error of his ways though. Finally, after the movie was all over we went out of the theater where James and the manager wrote up an incident report (whatever they call it there) and I signed it as well, being the only witness of the event. We left without further event, although I suspect more would have happened if we'd stayed. There was an ominous and ridiculous looking cop there in a huge white Stetson. And that was our night at the movies.

Essential Life Lessons Learned in my 20+ Years on this Earth

Before I crash for the night and get up early to catch the rat race, I thought I'd share some things I've learned over the years...

In no particular order:

1. Starburst Twizzlers and Lime-flavored chips are a recipe for disaster.

2. Dominoes buffalo wings after a heavy night of drinking is also a none-too-smart idea.

3. Some milkshakes do not bring boys to the yard.

4. Apples taste better than Windows.

5. Never take a picture in a Tijuana strip club.

6. Daniel is the only one in the world with an interest in forum browsing (click on it in profile if you don't believe me).

7. It is possible to accidentally uninstall programs from a computer and have an uncle that can do anything.

8. Expect the unexpected, unless your Nathan, in which case expect a life long struggle with the toilet.

9. Transos are people too.

10. FFUSFOSTAR

Thank you and good night!

Wuz up my Nuckas

I have now joined the blog. 

As I write this, John is touching a statue's penis.  In fact, David's penis (not to be confused with me). 

Michelangelo would be proud.

Nathan, man, get a phone!

I just saw the Bourne Supremacy.  It's a very good movie, I highly recommend it.  And on my way back Nathan must have called, I got his voice mail and called back the number he left, but to no avail...

Nathan if you're out there...no I will not make out with you...

I'm playing with Hello. This is my first picture. 

NEWSFLASH: Man loves dog more than family

Too bad his sons bring on more shame than respect to his average American life.  His only consolation is love from his golden retriever who lacks any vestige of discipline or self control.

Taking aim at weirdos on the bloggerspot

You know, I was editing my profile today, and I got to wondering why exactly my favorite stuff is underlined. Well, I clicked on some of them and, much to my dismay, I discovered that it shows you all of the people who share this interest. I think if we put our heads together , we can figure out who should be the most ashamed of his interest/favorite book etc. I think my interest in the book Foucault's Pendulum puts me in with a special class of high-powered mutants.

Buy a copy of the 9/11 Commission Report!

Find, Compare, and Buy 9 11 commission Books at Shopping.com

And while you're at it, buy me one too...

They're creepy and they're kooky

For some reason, weird stuff happens a lot when I'm over at the Adams family house. This story happened on one such occasion.
 
It was rather late at night and I was sitting on the futon playing some Mario Kart Double Dash (awesome game). John went into some Christian chat room to have some fun. He decided it would be cool to put on the webcam and offer images of me playing Mario Kart on for whoever in the chat room wanted to see.  So some guy logged on and IM'ed John.  I forget what it was that the guy and John initially wrote, but shortly thereafter the guy wrote, "Show me your ass." I kid you not. John asked me if I wanted to show the guy my ass, but after great consideration I declined. Anyway, I thought that if the guy wanted to see ass, he might like tubgirl. John IM'ed him the link. After a few seconds, the guy wrote back, "That's hot, show me some more." I may not be quoting exactly, but that's close enough. I forget what John did after that, but I was freaked out enough for one night.

Golly I'm tired...

Alright guys, we've all seen this all to many times:

Like just now, for example.  A large (or rather staggeringly enormous) woman (or man I suppose) waddles in to the library, goes and finds some books.  (Perhaps resting a few times on the way, sweating and panting disgustingly as they go).  They finally make it back to the checkout desk and slam their books down exclaiming: "golly I'm tired..." or "whew I'm exhausted" or some such other statement.  And what causes all this exhaustion you might ask?  Simply walking across a small branch library...what is the world of obesity coming to...

The Ladies of IPL

Lovely Ladies "A" and "K" 

Despite what you may have seen on TV, the library business is not entirely a male-dominated profession. Beside the many men slaving away here at IPL to answer your questions and find your books, many a hard-working woman works. Two of them, our personal favorites, are pictured here. "A"(on the left) is one of our resident children's librarians, whose job it is mostly to keep the little buggers out from under our big, manly stomping feet by entertaining them with stories, songs, crafts or by mostly allowing them to sit on the computers and download Dragonball Z and Yu-Gi-Oh pictures in black and white. "K" is entrusted mostly with returning many a valuable book to the shelves on which they belong, so that potential child-molestors have something to peep from behind when searching for underage girls who themselves are desperately trying to study and pretend not to notice the weird old guy checking them out from the gardening section. Yes, I daresay without their female-ness our libraries would be hardly as pleasant to work in.  Thank you "A" and "K".

The true story of the chinese giant

John has been imploring me to tell the story of the night I almost blacked out on his toilet. I don't know that there's too much to explore here, but I'll give it to you.

A couple of weeks ago I was hanging out one night at John's place. A natural urge came upon me so I went to the bathroom. Something was wrong though. As I sat there, allowing the natural course of events to occur, I suffered from what felt like an intense head rush. My vision narrowed down and I began to lose feeling in my body. I thought perhaps it was normal, but no! I could only see a small patch of wallpaper with my tunnel vision, but I knew this was no ordinary bm. I had to stop it or it might kill me. So I grabbed the rim and tried to slow the process down, but I felt like a truck was driving through me. I realized that strategy wouldn't work, so I accelerated the process. The effort it cost me was immense, and I was shaking and sweating. I only survived because I went empty before I totally blacked out. Still, at the end I was shaken by a violent convulsion and I fell back against the tank of the toilet, sending a candle holder to meet its doom on the floor. For a few moments, I had to sit there just resting. That was the most effort I've ever had to put into an evacuation.

I still don't know why I had that one particularly bad episode, but all I can say is I hope it never happens again.

Cool store

You guys check this store out; don't worry, you can view it at work.

Worship the monkey

Before you die, you see the tub

You sit down for a relaxing evening of computer use, but what's this? Somebody wants you to go to a website? Hmm, www.tubgirl.com, eh? Sounds enticing and sexy, doesn't it? OK, I'll bite, just type it in... Oh dear God, what is that!!!!, you exclaim, closing the browser in horror.   Although you can purge your IE cache to expunge any physical traces of your visit after the shaking stops, you will never get Norton Systemworks to install inside your tortured mind.
If this scenario sounds familiar, then chances are you were, at one point in your life, tubgirled.  Although some people are ultimately able to laugh at their trauma, others never quite seem to be the same after viewing that enigma wrapped up in a mystery wrapped up in a brown geyser.  I have noticed two general reactions to the tubgirl phenomenon, which I will dub "A" and "B".

TYPE A: A type "A" tubgirl victim was initially horrified and confused by what they saw, and, in fact, may not be entirely certain what they just looked at.  However, any morbid curiosity on their behalf will be quickly swallowed up by one single, all-consuming mania: "Who can I show this too?"  My theory is that a type "A" tubgirl victim can only survive what thy have just seen by passing its unholy e-miasma along to another victim.  A good analogy to help you understand this would be the movie The Ring. 

TYPE B: Statistical analysis of a sample of type "B" tubgirl victims reveals that most of them are exposed to the phenomenon through a type "A" acquiantance.  The type "B" victim's symptoms display themselves similarly for the first few minutes, and they may be confused with type "A" symptoms by the casual observer.  However, the type B victim never feels the need to pass the burden of seeing along.  Instead, they feel a need to understand who, how and why tubgirl is pressing down on them like a crushing weight.  Long-term morbidity data is forthcoming.

My research into this matter has caused me to speculate about the existence of type "C" victims, for want of a better term, who do not seem to be affected by the TG miasma.  My best working hypothesis is that these "victims" are not fully human and therefore immune to the condition; however, I can not state this with confidence until I have performed several comparative autopsies.  In this matter, I can only hope that Seamus's girlfriend Stacy will come through for me. 

In conclusion, to all you type A's out there, rest easy-- the danger has already passed.  Type B's, you are in my prayers, and we are hard at work on a cure for your condition.  Type C's, if you really exist, please come forward.  And finally, for those out there who have seen no trauma gushing forth as a fountain  as of yet-- if, one day, you see the tub loading on a computer screen, avert your eyes and save your soul!!

Authentic Nat-Wu? 

Goat-man

Here it is, of which we speak. What poor research assistant had to dig up all this?

My picture is now up

Well whoop-de-doo...you can now look at me looking back at you...

Disturbing?

Here are some good photos for old time's sake

More about Xanthippas...

Many of you have e-mailed me to ask me why I choose the pseudonym Xanthippas. Well, here's a little more about him. In the annals of history's great face-offs, I've always favored Carthage over Rome and Sparta over Athens, which makes this little guy my hero.

 
Oh, and historian Donald Kagan spells his name with an "a", but then he's British...

Something disturbing this way comes...

Here goes nothing. You will note that I have blurred the face to preserve this person's identity

Let's get the picture profiles going

Somebody besides me figure out how to get a photo next to our profiles

Inmates Break out for Beer Run

 

 

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/5469808/?GT1=4244

How to Post Images

As I was playing with this last night I followed some links and found the Hello software that you may or may not have already seen.  Its basically  just a little program that lets you easily post images to your blogs.  That's how I posted Mr. T.  I think it also lets you post regular blogs, but it makes it much easier since it does it in an IM format, you just type up your blog and hit Send, you don't have to be logged in on any webpage.

You can get this software from www.hello.com

You can also make blogs via email, I haven't done this yet but I know its possible.  You just email the blog site and it posts what you send.

If things go as I predicted originally, we should have a flood of disturbing and funny images in no time...

Alex can post goatse for us, I think he knows the address for that image

sup

Women. I tell ya. This girl who hasn't talked to me in months sends me a message out of the blue about what textbook she needs. I respond sarcastically about liking being the go-to guy for school info, and she acts like she doesn't know what I'm talking about. What a b*tch!
 
Anyway, this is a cool place.  I don't work for any of the Irving libraries but I seem to know a good amount of people from there and what's been going on.
 
It's kind of nice out here because it is cloudy.
 
Hey, you ever notice the word "believe" contains the word "lie?"

Ah, my back itches...
 

 
(Yes, I am trying to make fun of the typical blog entry.)

Here I come a-bloggin'

Welcome to my first post! In a short 45 minutes I have gone from viewer and commentator on this blog, to fellow blogger. I also have a blog of my own that I created 10 minutes ago, which I will share with you when I figure out how to.  I've been invited by virtue of the fact that I too am a library employee, if only for another two weeks, after which I will become an unemployed law student. Still in that time I will cram in as much joyful library experiences as I am allowed by my fellow bloggers.

See my picture

I just thought I'd share a picture of myself with everyone. I am Nat-Wu, the Chinese giant!

First two hours a success

I was able to waste the first hour pretty well, especially since there were no ready carts, and some kid had played the push-all-the-books-in-that-you-can-reach game on the non-fiction shelves.  So I fixed that kid's damage, wandered a bit, and now I'm on desk until 4.  It would be interesting to post images of the library mutants on this page...and hideous.  I think I would start with Mironack.  And then Guillauma the Frenchman.

That Link was Dead

http://www.colonialfsc.com/MASTERS/more%20photos.html

Nat-Wu in da House

I'm very glad to see that Nat-Wu has joined up.  Didn't you like my picture of Mr. T?

I just got in to work and we have Vanessa helping us out.  (Not sure if I spelled her name right.)  Anyway today I feel like I should be lazy to compensate for all the work I did yesterday while Lorenza happily did absolutely nothing.  Even Arthur (who was here yesterday) shelved a cart, and still Lorenza did nothing. 

Anyhow...this is what Google images pulls up when you search for Nat-Wu:

http://www.colonialfsc.com/ MASTERS/Nat_WU_circle.jpg

Um...so...blog

Aren't blogs for losers and people who want everyone to read their crazy conspiracy theories? But anyway, I like that story about the texshare card. That's crazy. And what about the crazy guy trying to kiss your hand? Oh, and as far as interesting stories go, I only have a short one. Last week I was in my library one night after we'd closed (having returned to use the phone). It was rather dark but I noticed what appeared to be a huge roach crawling up the wall over the Spanish books. I got the flashlight and indeed, it was a huge roach. I decided the only thing to do was use it for target practice and shoot at it with rubber bands. I had shot off several and was on the verge of giving up, but I decided to go for one more. I got the biggest rubber band out of the box that I could find (and I'm talking an 8" diameter here). Amazingly enough, I hit the thing! Unfortunately, I discovered that the rubber band wouldn't do a significant amount of damage. The roach got away. Perhaps I need larger rubber bands.

Mr. T and SeanBaby

P. Diddy teaches kids "Vote or Die"

P. Diddy launches group for youth vote

Whatever happened to Sean Combs? He used to be cool...

Library Lore

Ok here it is:

Not long ago I gave a friend of mine a TexShare card from the library.  She then took this TexShare card out of town to a different library that is also on the TexShare system.  That library took one look at the card and commented, "oh Irving will give a card to anyone, even someone from Ohio..." and basically told her that they wouldn't issue her a card since they knew that Irving's policies were so open.  Naturally I was unhappy since they offended my friend, my library, and my dignity...so here is what I did:

1.) I discussed this with Logan, who also agreed it was a travesty of everything right in this world, and I then emailed my story/complaint to him which I will forward to the Assistant Director tomorrow.

2.) I emailed the Texas Library Association and reported that a certain small-town library feels they have the right to be selective on TexShare cards they honor based on their interpretation of the other library's policies.  We'll see what comes of that.

3.) I emailed the offending party a certain link that starts with www.tub ... oh wait, this has gone too far already...

First Post

Right now I'm watching the X-Files and contemplating having the last Dr. Pepper in my refrigerator.  I went over to Kevin's house earlier because he couldn't get his laptop to communicate with his desktop over the network and I'm still puzzled about it, but I couldn't get it to work.  Maybe Jason's luck has passed on to Kevin while he's away being ass-kicked at bootcamp.

I'm also still kinda freaked out about the weird French guy trying to kiss my hand at work too.

Check my next post for some crazy library lore...